Log in

No account? Create an account
Kara (Aekaran)
06 November 2011 @ 09:38 am
[Filter: Private]

I should never have followed him here.

Dragons, it was such a preposterous idea from the very start. Go to Rayla, yes. Surely she'll be convinced to take him back, if he shows up begging and pathetic. I certainly couldn't resist. I should have just told him to be happy with what he had, and stay in Dentoria.

Or just ... let him go on his own. What do I owe him, really? He only saved me because he thinks he's a hero. It's not as though --

Hah. But now, I'm about to let him be a hero again, aren't I? If he can take me away from all of this and have us both not die, I'll let Alexander write one of his insipid ballads about it, even.

I don't -- I don't know what I want. I don't know what to do from here. I don't want to go home, and there's nowhere else to go, and I don't know what will happen ...

All I really know is that I don't want to die.

[Filter: Davan]

It's tomorrow night. For certain, this time. No more false alarms.

I hope you know what you're doing ...
Mood: scaredscared
06 November 2011 @ 07:57 pm
[Filter: Private]

To think ... it has to have been him. There's no other way it was anyone else. Why didn't I see it before? If I had only tried harder, if I had kept an eye on him from the start ...

There's so much that I could have changed. This pointless war between Hanmor and Nasen could have been prevented. Now all I've done is leave those people to die. We've completely abandoned all of those soldiers and left them to their own vices ... and Simon. He's been completely taken over, heart and soul ...

I just ... I wish there would have been more I could do.

But ... but my girls, getting back to Rayla, looking into matters at home ... that's where I need to be, right now.

[Filter: Eve]

I think we've managed to get out of the worst of it.
Mood: workingworking