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05 November 2011 @ 01:07 am
[Filter: Daisy]

Dragons, I give up!

I -- I hate to be defeatist. You know that I do. We took this responsibility onto ourselves. Kimberly is counting on us to right the wrongs we know are happening here. This is our job, as soldiers fighting for the good of Hanalan. How can we look at ourselves if we just let this happen?

But we ... but we just can't get this -- bastard. He's too slippery, he's just too --

What were we even thinking? Looking for just a name? I've spoken to so many Leanne's in the last two weeks that I can't even remember half of them, and ...

... maybe we just have to let this one go.

I hate it, but. We can't just I'm just about out of fuel.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
05 November 2011 @ 01:23 am
[the writing is halting]

[Filter: Private]


[there is a very, very long pause]

I just can't

[there is another, and then the writing becomes a scrawl]

[Filter: Fayre]

I don't know what to do, Fayre. What should I do?
Mood: indescribableindescribable
05 November 2011 @ 02:28 am
Well, it's November, now. Darkness is falling most of the day. Rodger and I have decided to burn streetlamps this year, after all, in spite of the cost of the oil. It might seem like a silly thing to focus on, but I think the people have enough darkness to worry about without having to have it closing in literally, all the time.

I really am beginning to get concerned about that Timothy boy. It hasn't gotten any better. He's always taking risks, lately. I can't help but think he's going to get himself into trouble, and if he does, we won't be able to avoid it for ourselves.

The last thing we need, here, is another mess to tidy up. I hope that girl knows what she's doing.

Rodger ... wants to do something for Lauren and Rae's birthdays. I'm not so sure that it's a good idea, myself. I doubt they're coming home, after all. Why should we remind everyone that they're gone? But he doesn't like it when I'm negative about it, so I hold my tongue. It will be his choice, in the end, and my job to put it together.

The barracks are still filling too slowly, but that stopped being news years ago.

And I suppose that's all for this month.
Mood: blahblah
Lysander of Mera
05 November 2011 @ 02:34 am
[Filter: Verity]



Have you heard the talk circling around here? When we ran into those refugees earlier, they were talking about Coliya ... I wasn't sure if you'd talked to them. You've been ... weird, since we've left Coliya, and I just didn't want to ask.

But it sounds like it's gone. Like -- gone. Something about Maea. I didn't really hear many details ...
Mood: gloomygloomy
Ian (Agi)
05 November 2011 @ 02:39 am
[Filter: Private]

Dragons, what is all of this?

War? Now? I -- Dragons, but why now? At least Tarmon isn't going to be leading the charge, apparently, some small blessings. I'd like to know the story behind that.

I'd like to know the story behind all of it, really.

[Filter: Lady Eliza]

What's all of this about the situation in the North? I've read some bits and pieces, but I can tell I'm not getting all of the information here. And I want you to give it to me.
Mood: worriedworried
Celeste of Franel
05 November 2011 @ 05:45 am
[Filter: Private]

Oh, poor Lauren. I -- I wish --

But I don't even know what she ... she could be angry at me. She could be furious at me. And ... and I still don't know what to think about her? No one has seen a glimpse of Jonathan since he came out ... not even Aileen. What did she say to him? ... no. No, I know what she said. But how did she ...

Ah ... I can't even imagine ...

[Filter: Jace]

I ... I really did want to thank you, again, Jace ... if you hadn't ...

[there is a pause]

[Filter: Jonathan]

... Jon?
Mood: worriedworried
05 November 2011 @ 08:45 am
[Filter: Private]

She won't even write to me here.

I don't know why I expected anything different. After all those letters went unanswered but I suppose I told myself that was Father's doing. He - oh Dragons, how can I survive this, on top of everything? Knowing she is here but not ever acknowledged? Maybe things will change with time but I don't dare even dream of that now, for my own sake. My dreams never end well.

Oh Jarek, I need you now so much. There is no one to talk to about any of this. Cameryn is busy or absent or one of a million other possibilities. I have not seen Father Lycoris write for so long and I do not wish to intrude upon the reason for that. My sisters ... reaching out to them has never ended well. And I wouldn't want to risk what little progress we have made for this.

And then there is our son. Her grandson. Already, I suspect that I may tell him too much. He is old enough to understand now. But he has always been so good at knowing when I was upset and always he wants to help. Which is a feeling I know only too well ... I know I have said it before but it bears repeating now more than ever. I swear on everything I hold dear that I will be better than them. I will never put Jayden in a position like this. I will never turn my back on him. I will be ten times the parents either of them ever were.

Still, I - how do I handle this? I suppose I should learn from the examples of those who raised me. I ignore it. I pretend it isn't there. And I pray that someday it might hurt less.

Dragons, please let it hurt less.