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15 October 2011 @ 12:41 am
[Filter: Private]

I honestly can't stay down there. There are people who can, and... I can't. I just can't do it. That pain is just too raw.

This situation with Aileen isn't getting any better either... but at least I think I can fix it. Maybe.

[Filter: Aileen]

I was wondering if you wanted to go out into the city with me... We haven't had very much fun in a little while, and I thought this might be a good time to have some. I've missed talking to you as much.
Lysander of Mera
15 October 2011 @ 05:56 am
[Filter: Verity]

They're talking, you know? The servants. Apparently everyone's really upset about Lord Henry, not that I can blame them, but you know who they're going to look at to blame. We both do.

I've been keeping an ear out and Melanie's been coming to inform me of anything I don't hear. She says it's pretty down-low for now, but she'll come and let me know the minute anything changes. I think you're right about needing to get something ready to get out of here, though. Who knows when it's all going to explode?

Any ideas?
Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
Cathleen "Cate"
15 October 2011 @ 06:15 am
[Filter: Private]

Why did I say anything like that to him?

He's gonna come up with something awful. Something ... embarrassing, and stupid, and ... and I won't be able to tell him no. He'll look at me with that big wide smirk on his face and his laughing eyes and I won't be able to do a thing about it.

I just want him to leave me alone! Why is that so bad? He's married. He's got plenty of other things he could be doing. So why does he have to single me out, and be all --

I'm just gonna go see Lady Canti, and forget him! This is probably just what he wants me to do, is panic.
Mood: stressedstressed
15 October 2011 @ 06:30 am
[Filter: Private]

I hate this.

I hate never knowing when I wake up if this is the day I'm going to have to run for my life. I hate not knowing if running is even going to be necessary. I hate not knowing if I'll have the time to run, or if I'll be dead and staring before I even know it's too late.

I hate not knowing what to tell Aekaran.

And I hate that, if I survive, I'll likely read this entry and think about what a grand idiot I was to wish for something to even happen.
Mood: restlessrestless
15 October 2011 @ 06:34 am
[Filter: Lauren]


I know you're probably very busy with Mairenn and Tabea again today, but I thought if you had a moment to break away for lunch, I might be able to serve as an interim bodyguard for you to go down to the city! Gebann can come, too, if you really want to keep up appearances, but I certainly would prefer that it just be the two of us ...

What do you say? Are you up for it?
Mood: chipperchipper
15 October 2011 @ 05:05 pm
[filter: col]


she gives me a hard time for liking you because you work at the docks and don't live in the nice part of town and then she goes and dates a guy who's gross and even worse and if she doesn't like you i don't understand what she sees in him!

we got into a big fight last night with grandmom and granddad and she said i was jealous! can you believe that? why would i be jealous of him?
Mood: angryangry
15 October 2011 @ 05:52 pm
[Filter: Rayla and Ree]

So ... yeah!

I think I might have to go home soon ... my father's been sending messages to me over and over again explain the situation at home and he's pretty much been commanding me to return home soon.

I don't know how much longer I can stay here, but if there's anything I can do before I have to leave, just let me know, I guess?
Mood: blahblah
15 October 2011 @ 05:53 pm
[Filter: Private]

Don't feel much of fucking anything.

Had plenty of time to get used to not giving a shit, haven't I?

Whatever. I'm not avoiding that stupid shitty room because I give a fuck about anything to do with the home I never got. It's the fucking company down there I can't fucking stand, eh? Fuck em. It's nearly fucking finished now anyway.
Mood: apatheticapathetic
15 October 2011 @ 06:47 pm
... has anyone seen Ash?

I um ... I think he wandered off some time ago and I haven't been able to find him anywhere ... I was thinking that I might have left him at home, but then I remembered that I brought him out today, for sure ... he doesn't usually wander off like this ...
Mood: worriedworried
Lord Raoul of Ferselle
15 October 2011 @ 07:08 pm
[Filter: Private]

I guess now is the time.

[Filter: Keane]

I feel it's time for the both of us to have a talk about something. I've been avoiding the issue since we started our endeavor, but now that our true goal is in sight, I thought it would be an ideal time for us to talk about your mother.
15 October 2011 @ 07:35 pm
[Filter: Private]

It would be a lot more flattering if I knew she was doing it on her own. I don't know if she's just teasing me, or if she's trying to wiggle closer because she thinks I'm a crack in the shell. I can only guess if she's got something up her sleeve. If I were betting, I'd say she's just trying to use me, and she doesn't know any better.

[Filter: Gebann]

I finally have something that's going to make you jealous.
15 October 2011 @ 08:17 pm
[Filter: Private]


... like, seriously?

[Filter: Public]

Yeah! So! ... Kirk seems nice!
Mood: shocked@_@
15 October 2011 @ 09:25 pm
[Filter: Private]

So yeah. Maybe everything isn't as frigged up as I thought? Mean, Lydia took it well enough. Had to try to convince her, but yeah. Might not be out of the woods there, but I don't know what to do about it. Telling the truth is my best bet in any case. Lying about it is only going to get me in more trouble, right? Right. Need to keep this one above board.

On the other front, think I'm ready to go down there again. It's messed up from what I've been able to piece together, but it's nothing like what I've already been through. Need to find out if I'm worse off than I was before. Need to figure out if going down there is going to shut me down. Need to figure out if I can still walk through the room that frigged me up. And see, once I figure that out, I can actually do something about it.

And, you know, one more thing.

[Filter: Franelcrew]

So yeah, I think I've got my game back. Don't think I lost much of it in the first place, but I figured better safe than sorry. Still, I'd like to try out these dice instead of my cards in some kind of game with them. Anyone up for trying out games we've never played before?
15 October 2011 @ 10:40 pm
[Filter: Private]

Ah ... it's ... it's been so much more calm since all of the refugees left ...

We've finally been able to restore order into the city ... though it'll still take some time. At the very least, we can finally get to cleaning the city up and protecting our citizens ... I ah ... I feel like we can go back to how things were, once again ...

[Filter: Lila]

Lila ... have you been able to visit home, yet ...?

I hope that they haven't had any trouble with the refugees, there ...
Mood: workingworking