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22 August 2011 @ 12:16 am
[Filter: Private]

And he didn't even come calling today to apologize! I can't believe him! He spends all day pretending that I don't exist, and -- and --!! How dare he! I am the one that was supposed to be pretending that he doesn't exist, until he decides to be a proper gentleman and provide me an elaborate, heartfelt apology for his absolutely boorish behavior!

Well if he thinks that I'll concede to him any time soon, he certainly has another thing coming. This was never my idea! I don't need him at all!
Mood: angryangry
Ethne of House Karnach
22 August 2011 @ 12:24 am
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Mother was glad to hear the news about Helene and Mahaesa, just as I thought. Though I do wish I could have stayed and accepted her invitation. It feels terrible, having to turn your own mother down for tea, but what can I do? There's no room in my schedule, and I'd spend the entire time fidgeting and distracted and wishing I were somewhere taking care of something useful, instead. I'm sure she understands. She sat the Council once, after all, she must remember what it was like.

I have no idea how I'll keep all of this in order, in the weeks to come. I never quite imagined it like this. It will be different, of course, once the rest of those seats are filled, but ...

I shouldn't let this sour the experience. I can do a lot of good here. I always believed I could, and that hasn't changed. We'll all have time to go back to furthering our pet issues and taking time off for tea with our mothers, eventually, and I'm sure I'll find things to complain about when that happens, too.
Mood: busybusy
22 August 2011 @ 01:39 am
[Filter: Franelcrew, excluding Jack]

Ah, dears ...

Thank you all for not crowding or pressing. I do very much appreciate the restraint. But I know that you're all very eager for an update about Jack, and I owe it to you to give you one.

He is ... not doing so well. The technical explanation for what happened to him, as I've managed to discern it with Aileen's help, would likely go over most of your heads, but I'll attempt to explain it in layman's terms.

The abysses that we've seen in two rooms so far are, obviously, not actually as deep as they look. I suspect they're only several feet so, in fact, judging from the depth of the floor below the last one we encountered. Ah, and naturally, now you all wonder just what happened to Jack, if he fell only such a short distance -- and for those of you who saw, why did he just appear again on the edge?

Well, the second question, I cannot answer. Neither can Aileen. Whatever that trick is, it's a magic so deep and so old all record of it has been lost. If you can imagine for, a moment, all the possibilities such a thing raises, well ... it may have been buried for a reason. The rest, however, we think we understand.

The void is a blanket of dark magic, some combination of illusion, which dark magic is especially good at, and impression, which is also very much linked to that form. It tells your mind that there is a great, bottomless chasm there -- every part of your mind, in every detail. No matter what your eyes actually see, it will never reach a place you can realize it, because your mind will warp it. Every aspect of it.

Do you understand?

Jack fell only a few feet, and then he rematerialized, unharmed, moment's later. That is what actually happened. But ... it's not what his mind told him happened. To him, it feel as if he fell for much longer. Years, even. A lifetime. His mind told him the pit was bottomless, and, ah, any healer can tell you that the body feels what the mind tells it to.

As you can imagine, Jack is not handling this well ... at all. I think he only half connects what it happening right now to reality. Part of him is still falling through space ... and perhaps always will be. I really can't say.

I'm sorry, darlings. I know this is hardly the good news everyone is hoping for, hm.
Mood: stressedstressed
22 August 2011 @ 01:47 am
[Filter: Private]

I don't ... I don't know what the point is.

We're just going to fight again, I know it. She still thinks I'm being stupid about Ian, and I still know that I'm not, and I can't not say anything, and she can't not say anything about me not saying anything and she ugh.

It's just going to happen again. It's just going to keep happening. I don't know how we're supposed to ...

What do people do in this sort of situation?

[Filter: Daisy]

I ...

I had ... a lot of fun last night, Daisy.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
22 August 2011 @ 01:53 am
Woo! I got so much shopping done today! I think I have almost everyone bought for, except for Ally. I really haven't seen a single thing for her yet, sigh. I don't care what anyone says, she's hard. And I think I bought too many gifts for Violet again, sigh. I really can't help myself~

We're pretty lucky that Raetha's gotten so toned, I'd say. She was carrying all of her own and half of ours! Everyone should have a friend with muscley arms, I think~

I'm glad I'm getting it done early~ Well, early-ish. It's officially not quite a month until the Festival! That's early enough to be impressive, I'd say!

And nooow, I think need a long, long bath. I love the heat so much, but today might have been a little too much even for me.
Mood: tiredtired
22 August 2011 @ 02:15 am
[Filter: Private]

Rory doesn't know it's Lysander.

Rory can't know it's Lysander. He can't. He may be changed. He may be more like the brother I remember. But Keran doesn't trust him anymore, and Rory has always been so weak. If Keran ... if he asks the right questions, at the right time ...

It feels wrong, sometimes. It does feel wrong. Rory should know, shouldn't he? They're using our name. Our family. Our history. And when I kill Keran like I promised and rescue me, they'll rescue Rory, too. He's stupid and petty and it's all his fault that this happened, but he couldn't help any of it. Verity may not like it, but I know Lysander will rescue him.

But ... but he can't know, he can't. No matter how much he asks and how confused he is. I have to pretend I don't know anything about the rebels, or why the shipments are always late, or why they're using our name. I have to pretend.

[Filter: Lysander]

Everyone's talking about Forna. Doesn't it seem like that?

If only they weren't all saying different things.
Mood: guiltyguilty
22 August 2011 @ 02:35 am
[Filter: Norman, in Kilian]

... I know that we've stayed too long as it is. We were hot on a trail that might even as we speak be going completely cold. We're going to need to travel quickly to make up for the lost time.

I ... just ...

I liked it here. I ... I did. It's peaceful. The people are a real community.

I think I start to see why you're willing to choose this life. It's not for the heresy, not even for the study, is it? It has something to do with this, these ... people.


Back to work, no?
Mood: nostalgicnostalgic
Celeste of Franel
22 August 2011 @ 02:51 am
[Filter: Private]

I ... probably shouldn't have gone. It was ...

Ah. It was frightfully uncomfortable and awkward, and ... and, I ... I ...

... I ... can't stop thinking about what he said, when we fought.

At first, I was just ... so angry that he throw something like that in my face. I've struggled with my and Jace's relationship. I ... I used to hate myself for it. I'd do everything to ... to be sure that he understood I didn't want to ... ah, to ... be with him in ... in that way, not until marriage, but ... he'd never listen, and I'd feel so awful and wrong and dirty. It wasn't easy, it was awful, and I had to ... had to eventually come to realize ...

Realize that I loved him, completely, and nothing that was so ... pure and good and real could possibly be ...

... ah.


And so ...

So perhaps he was right. And perhaps ... perhaps I should understand him better than anyone else does, instead of ...


[Filter: Lauren]

Oh, that was ... very quick thinking today, Lauren. When Tabea asked that question, I thought I ... well, my mind just went blank. She had a point -- why wasn't I actually doing the usual training measures ...? And I just ... I didn't know how to answer, and I don't know enough about Korin to say, but if I'm a Taerin cousin, then surely ...

Ah, but you thought much more quickly than I did. I ... thank you. For a moment, I thought I was going to ruin everything ...

[there is a pause]

Er, but ... I ...

I don't really ... know what we're going to do, now.
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
22 August 2011 @ 03:32 am
[Filter: Private]

It's so very strange to be sleeping through the night, once again.

Mn, the more I consider that hunt, the more amazed I am that I pulled it all off the way I did. Not the execution, no. The plan was perfect, the misdirection elegant, and my own alibi, quite flawless.

No, I'm simply amazed I managed to wait for the right time, and not simply fly across the dinner table, one of those evenings, butterknife wielded and murder in my eyes. It was a near thing a hundred thousand times, and I'd grown so accustomed to feeling ... possessed. Every moment of every day, waking or sleeping, whatever I was doing, the constant pressure and pain and madness.

After so much time living with that, peace feels like something I should be wary of, no matter how ridiculous it is.

Mn, truly, a woman can learn to live with anything, if she can exert her will over it strongly enough.

I shouldn't meander so. A good night's sleep after months of waking torment is nothing to question.

[Filter: Public]

There's nothing quite like a city in celebration, is there~? I suppose I should be surprised that a second son's wedding is getting this sort of reaction from the smallfolk, but, mn, I've been told that you're popular every place you go, Lord Fartgus~

Shall we be prepared for many crying maidens on Tuesday afternoon~?
Mood: restlessrestless
Linnell of House Veirnan
22 August 2011 @ 04:27 am
[Filter: Lissandra]


Lunch today, Lian is going to be busy~ Can you keep Papa occupied while I go take care of things? It shouldn't take me very long, but if Papa finds out what I'm doing ...
Mood: determineddetermined
Dillon of Rowan
22 August 2011 @ 04:28 am
Dragons, why can these horses not run faster?
Mood: distresseddistressed
Meghan of Tullia
22 August 2011 @ 04:34 am
[Filter: Private]

I can do this!! I can help fix everything.

[Filter: Lian]

Um, Lian!!

I talked to the cooks a little earlier, and they made some of Lancel's favorites for hi slunch today, and I thought ... um, well, he looked so happy to see both of us last time we were there, so maybe he just misses having a lot of company! So maybe you'd like to come with me again?

[Filter: Stephanie]

Stephanie, ummm~ I know we haven't talked much, but I thought that maybe we should more! And I thought it might be great for both of us to take Lancel his lunch today, since I know he gets lonely ... and we can all talk there!! What do you think?? Will you come along??
Mood: determineddetermined!! (oblivious!!)
Lord Hasten of Lireth
22 August 2011 @ 04:49 am
[Filter: Fartgus]

You are very fortunate I have heard no talk of what happened, Thursday night.

Sir Gerris has always been a pox upon my city, but your idiot friend could very well have caused an incident we cannot afford to have, right now. What was he thinking, helping himself to that terrified refugee girl as though she were a Kanemorian doxy. And what were you thinking, not stopping it.

If I hadn't agreed to come, if I hadn't spent the last days expending all my effort hiding this incident ...

All it would take would be the wrong Koriner Lord hearing that Dentorians are raping their refugees who have obeyed all of the rules of conduct set before them. And then they would take offense, and then they would react, and then Tarmon will be Grand General of the Dentorian armies in deed instead of just name. We have gone almost two generations since war has erupted on the border. I will do anything to ensure it does not do so now that he is Sovereign of the North.

Keep your damn pets on their leashes. I never want to tell you that again.
Mood: angryangry
Seraphine (Elina)
22 August 2011 @ 05:24 am
[Filter: Private]

... hm~

It looks like I was right, after all. I suppose I should have seen it sooner, but ... oh, I've been having so much fun.

Ah, I'm going to miss this ...~~

[Filter: Philip]

Sir Philip, you've been a very deceptive young man ...~

Mm-hm~ And you know, I might even be offended, if I weren't so sure the main person you've been lying to is yourself.
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
22 August 2011 @ 05:21 pm

I've decided to do my Festival shopping early this year. The beginning of September seems perfect...and I still have more than a week to finish my lists. I have a good idea of what I want to give everyone, thankfully.

I can hardly believe summer will be over so soon. The months just seemed to fly by...
Mood: goodgood
22 August 2011 @ 10:07 pm
Glenn, Dillon, where the bloody hell are you?! I'm getting married tomorrow afternoon! Where you not aware of this? Did you forget? Did the date change when I wasn't looking?

I bloody well swear, if you're not here by afternoon tea, I'm going to rip my wedding dress to shreds and flee to Kanemoria!

[Filter: Isanae]

I know you're the last -- that you don't want to --

Look, my actual real sisters are bloody well rubbish for this, okay? Martha would just blink, and Connie would ugh. And I -- tomorrow night, I --

I don't know what to do! I don't ...

Mood: stressedstressed
Jessica of Mera
22 August 2011 @ 10:12 pm
[Filter: Private]

This is really happening. They'll send those men back to Megam in rickety old tubs with enough gold to keep the Holy Guard away, and we keep all of the food ... all the supplies, everything. Most people think they won't even make it back to land. There are pirates out there, circling like scavengers, just waiting ...

And there were so many people marching. Like a whole second ocean at the front gates, moving up the peninsula. Reports from Noye aren't very good at all, I knew -- knew it was an awful idea, sending Tyren. You can't send a man like that if you don't want everyone dead.

[Filter: Former Mera]

I know this isn't want you want to hear, but news just keeps getting worse and worse.

Tyren killed Lady Beatrice. He tried to keep it quiet, but how can you hide something like that? They have Beatrice's ... lover, but she's ... I'm not supposed to know this, but she's dying, too. It might only be days, and then they'll have a real revolt to deal with. I have contacts that brought me notes from those reports, and Tyren says he can handle it, but Lord Carlton is moving the infantry to reinforce Noye, anyway.

No one knows if they'll make it in time. No one knows if it will even be enough, if they do. You can't rebuild walls in a city where the people are rioting against you, every day. If Sylea gets there first, they'll reclaim Noye and start marching down the peninsula, next.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
22 August 2011 @ 10:45 pm
So. Uh... Hi.

Irving says there's some... secret present thing... going on again. Yeah. Guess I should say I'm in. If it isn't too late?

Happy now, Irving?

[Filter: Aileen]

I was thinking that, you know, you should try it too. It'd be fun!
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
22 August 2011 @ 11:02 pm
[Filter: Franelcrew]

I know I said I'd head downstairs today first thing, but apparently when Celeste says she's busy doing "pegasus stuff," she actually means she's going to be busy sparring Lauren, and I'm not missing this for anything. Sorry. This is going to be the real thing, armor, lances, what the hell? Celeste.

You know, sometimes I worry she's actually serious about this Pegasus Knight thing. That's the last thing we need around here, more of those.
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Maire of Lysel
22 August 2011 @ 11:05 pm
[Filter: Destin]

How is it that every time I come to see you at work, you've already gone? Maybe I should stop trying to surprise you. It hasn't really worked all that well. And now I'm here and you're probably home.

I guess I'll just see there then. Just thinking about having to go all the way back makes tired. I had forgotten just how hard being pregnant can be sometimes.