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06 August 2011 @ 12:36 am
[Filter: Private]

I should have known. Everything that could go wrong does. I just wish he would have spoken to me in person instead of just sending a messenger again. Perhaps I could have changed his mind.

I don't want to go back there.

[Filter: Public]

I hate to be the bearer of bad news, but it seems my services are required back at the convent. I suppose I should consider myself most blessed for having as much time with my loving family as I did, but now it seems the Dragons are calling me elsewhere.

I will miss you all terribly.
Mood: bitchybitchy
06 August 2011 @ 02:47 am

Amelie, I need to know if you ever found that hat of yours. I was planning to match you, remember, and if you couldn't find it, well, I could certainly improvise, but I'd need to know to do so in the first place. I hope you're not going to simply leave me floundering by myself out there.

[Filter: Rebecca]

Rebecca! Rebecca, I need a favor, if you would be so kind. Do you have a moment?
Mood: busybusy
Maeve [[Blanche]]
06 August 2011 @ 02:48 am
[Filter: Andrew]

Andrew~ I am dying to know if you've heard a fascinating little piece of news about the castle in which we've been residing~
Mood: curiouscurious
06 August 2011 @ 03:11 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

That was so strange ...

She really has changed so much, just like I'd thought she had. But ... I don't think it's in a bad way. That's what I was worried about, that she would be worse than before, but she's actually a nicer person, I think. Not that I ever thought she was cruel or mean, she was just always so ... angry. She seems less angry. Does that mean she's less unhappy? I hope so ...

I hope she saw the changes in me, too. I know that I still hesitate more than I should; Lady Mother is always telling me to be careful with that. She says it makes me look like I don't have pride in what I'm saying. But I'm so much better than I used to be. I look older too, just like Karlesta. I don't look like a little girl, anymore. I hope she noticed that. I hope she noticed all of it.

I think it went well, though? Karlesta certainly seemed eager to talk to me, and she was so gracious when Lady Mother came to greet us. I think talking to her gave me a bit of confidence, actually. I was so nervous about declaring. I kept thinking we should wait, even though Lady Mother keeps telling me it has to be today. But now ... well, I'm definitely still nervous! But I'm less nervous ...

I hope we can do that again ... even though it was strange. It was really, really strange.
Mood: optimisticoptimistic
06 August 2011 @ 05:55 pm
[Filter: Father Mulcahy and Sir Elden]

Well, Father, I must admit that though it started a bit slow, that proved to be a more fascinating experience than I could have ever expected~

Did you collect all of this wine, yourself? My goodness, you lucky thing~ What I wouldn't give for a cellar like this, the drinks here otherwise are so unpleasant~ I don't suppose you'd be open to frequent visits~ ♥

Mm, and don't you worry about Lord Gebann, really, Elden and I can explain it all. Trust me, it wasn't very subtle to begin with. He and Lady Ruseia are practically twins, don't you think~? ♥
Mood: amusedSO amused
Helene of Karnach
06 August 2011 @ 06:27 pm
[Filter: House Karnach]

We've just arrived at Erisport. We had plenty of money left for the fastest ship they've got, thankfully, and...well, hopefully we'll be home and among our dear family very soon.

I've also read about a grand party and a wonderful speech made by Edalene~ I apologize for not having written to ask about it sooner, but travel has kept Mahaesa and I quite busy. From what I've read, we missed quite an event.
Mood: blankblank
06 August 2011 @ 07:54 pm
[Filter: Lord Gebann]

Dragons, I am so, so very sorry. I cannot even think of anything I can say beyond that. I was simply startled, and there you were standing there. It was the first thing that came to mind. I promise you I did not know that they were following me. I'm so sorry.
Mood: distresseddistressed
06 August 2011 @ 09:07 pm
[Filter: Lady Fayre]

I've heard that it's very rude to talk during a sermon, but surely taking notes is acceptable~? I fear that if I don't, I'm going to go numb all over.

How do people stand it?
Mood: boredso bored
06 August 2011 @ 09:23 pm
There we go, a good and proper sendoff it was. I think Sir Eamon was actually surprised at how much attention he got. He's probably not used to receiving any when he's not pretending to be someone else, wonderfully novel.

It had a bit of a rocky start, with the river all choppy and the clouds the way they were. I was fairly sure it was going rain, and then Amelie would have turned into a bat and screeched at us all. But the sun came out and no such dramatics were necessary ... and everyone seemed to have a good time!

I hope he looked satisfied when you saw him off this morning, Prince Ian, Princess Seraphine.

[Filter: Lydia]

And would you look at that? Another one for the books, not a single pirate all day long. I think I even saw you smiling, after I made you dance with me. It was my favourite part of the whole day!
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Lord Craig of Rhia
06 August 2011 @ 10:08 pm
[Filter: Private]

There's an old saying. It says that a parent should never bury their own child. It's not natural. Children burying parents, brothers burying sisters, husbands burying wives, that's all sad and tragic and awful, but a father burying his son is wrong.

It damn well felt it.

... I wasn't a good father to the boy. I know it. I've known it all along. It was one thing when he was young and Fenea was alive and I was a new father and the world was full of possibility. It was easy, then. I think I did a good job. At least, I didn't think I did a poor one.

But when she was gone ...


It's too late to be looking back and thinking about things I could have done different. A lot changed after I lost Fenea. A hell of a lot. Everything changed, I changed, and part of that was becoming a bad father. Out of all the things I could have changed, well ... Dragons, it's a list long than I am tall, these days. And by the time I thought I might want to regret it, well ...


I could have visited him more, at the end. I could have done that. And I might have apologized, too, for what a poor excuse for a father I've been for most of his life. That would have been the right thing. I could have spent some time remembering his mother with him. I could have involved him in what's been going on, here. Maybe I could even have talked to him about Devine. Asked his advice. Dragons know, he was a better grandfather than I know how to be. Heh. I would have killed him right then, though, if I had. Me, asking his advice. Heh. Poor Stevie. What would he even have said?

I'm too old to start fixing old mistakes. It gets harder and harder to do that, the older you get, and I'm too damn old to regret that, either. I've lived long enough I don't want to do things that are hard. I do enough of that. I do more than enough.

But I'm not too old to wish I'd done things different. Wish things could have been different. That just gets easier the more time goes on.

Mood: sadsad