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Francisca of Emeron
01 August 2011 @ 12:08 am
[Filter: Private]

I'm... I'm going to try. It's the hardest thing to do, and I still hurt, but... but I really need to do this. For Daddy and for Isanae... Canti's right, and I need to be stronger, and get all the things done so that we can go. Even though I don't want to go. Even though all I want to do is lay in bed, I can't. I need to pack. I need to ... I need to live.

Even though I don't want to.

I wasn't alone before. I've never been alone before. Even when Tarmon beat me, Daddy was there. I'm old enough, I didn't need both Dette and Daddy. But now I have neither. And I'm alone. And now I have to do everything on my own. Isanae can only save me from Tarmon, and there are other things I need to be safe from in my life. I have the rest of my life ahead of me, and ...

I don't want to.

But I know what I have to do now.
Mood: indescribableindescribable
Justine of Ysak
01 August 2011 @ 12:34 am

Okay, well, I guess I might as well get started. It's the responsible thing to do, after all. And responsible is a word people use to describe me all the time.

So, what exactly do I have to do now?
01 August 2011 @ 01:00 am
[Filter: Private]

Think it's time to admit that I'm really suffering here. Think this is the longest I've gone without getting a girl in bed. It's a friggin shame she's so far south, or maybe it's that I'm too north. Don't really care, it's hurting. Hand's just not good enough after months. Worst part is the anticipation. I'm a few good successes away from having what I need to go back there. Don't know if those successes will come, don't know exactly what they're going to be, and hell, I'm winging everything on prayer here now.

Nope, worst part is I'm too friggin committed to seeing this through to fix my problem. Good chance something's going to go wrong up here, but I'm risking it anyway. Lots of good reasons to stop doing this, but I'm going to do something I've never done before. Yeah, can Jack really do something like this? All bets saying I can.
01 August 2011 @ 02:25 am
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Despite everything, I think it was for the best that she tore it apart. I wouldn't have wanted to work in that environment any longer. It's going to be very different when it comes back, and changed forever. I may not even have a place on it unless I can prove myself, though I am hoping to have a place still. There are things for me to do if I don't get a seat, but in my best case I am once again on the council.

Now, about this gathering. I really must do everything I can to avoid Westa, much as I'd like to talk to her again in person after so long. I'm afraid my political career is too fragile for those thoughts to come. Though, it wouldn't be a bad idea to get more friendly with Joseph. I did help him when he came into the city after all, we've certainly had some discussions in the past.

Well, I suppose I should get back to work.
01 August 2011 @ 02:36 am
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I wonder if anyone will remark on the family resemblance, seeing us all together. True enough that I always favoured my mother ... but I always though it fortunate that Westa was not in Cleraine when I was. The chin, the nose, the forehead ... there is classical Azshara in the both of us.

Of course, I doubt anyone will notice. Not even her. People only see what they wish to see. Westa is the Matriarch of House Atsir, and I the mysterious and elusive Prophet. There is no connection between us. No one will mark it, but for me.


Karlesta, Adrian and I should arrive late. Not enough to be rude, but enough to make a show of our arrival. We should not be seen as beholden to the swirl and call of Razen's activity. We move on the Goddesses' time, not that of mere mortals. Adrian should be seen as subserviant, Karlesta radiant. I will need to be sure she is seen, that she is remarked upon and marvelled at. She has grown clever. That should show.

... I wonder if she had realized yet, my plans for her. Perhaps not. Obvious enough, if one were to look closely, though this is all happening far, far ahead of schedule. But if she has not thought to ask the question, she will not have found the answer. Surely, nothing she's said has given any hint that she knows, or even suspects ...

Well, I will need to tell her soon. She has preparations to make, and a difficult game to play. Beside, she could use a distraction from the ... questions that I have seen her asking herself. About what happened in the library on that day.

... I wonder where he is tonight. If he thinks on what we talked about that day, what we realized, and what we agreed to. I wonder ...

I wonder.
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
01 August 2011 @ 10:48 am
[Filter: Private]

All right, new approach.

Maybe the position is important. Well, position is always important, but maybe I've been thinking about this the wrong way. This kind of magic is ancient, who knows what was different then.

The archives would be so much more appealing if it smelled less like mold.
Mood: blahblah
01 August 2011 @ 12:18 pm
[Filter: Private ; Atsirian]

They have been disappearing lately.

Not for long, but in some mornings, some afternoons, they are not seen or heard. No one else seems to be aware. Perhaps they are, but they choose not to question it.

If they do not want to speak of it, then I suppose I am not meant to know.
Mood: contemplativecontemplative
01 August 2011 @ 12:31 pm
[Filter: Eudora]

How is that party coming along, dearest? Are you sick of it yet?
Mood: amusedamused
Nerida of Allba
01 August 2011 @ 12:54 pm
[Filter: Private]

I miss my daughter.

Ah, that was a long time in coming, wasn't it? It has been two or three weeks since I last saw her, and now I miss her. How much has she grown? What has she learned? Does she know I am gone? Does she miss me?

I wish I could hold her now. She is such a beautiful child. All mothers think that of their daughters, but I swear mine is the most beautiful of all.
01 August 2011 @ 01:08 pm
[Filter: Private]

The men are scared. They say that if we come across another ship like that, we should take any of its leavings. Like bad luck is a thing that can be passed on. Bah. Where have I heard that before.

So, I can stick to my bloody principles and ignore them, or come to an agreement. And it looks like I'll have to come to a damn agreement, because while my old crew will listen, the newer ones might not.

Sailors all have this superstitious shit beat into them. They're bloody pirates.
Mood: aggravatedaggravated
01 August 2011 @ 01:15 pm
[Filter: Ree]

So you wanted me to write to you more. Here it is.

Harry came back with more of the old man's journals.
Mood: grumpygrumpy
01 August 2011 @ 01:39 pm
Heh, it looks like I wasn't the only person in this house excited by the watermelon. Sam just came in rollin a big green ball. And lookin real proud of himself too.

Well, least I know the watermelon isn't ready yet.
Mood: amusedamused
01 August 2011 @ 02:11 pm
Tersel is lovely, and I would be happy to return, once the wedding is over. Of course, that is not my decision alone. The children may want to come home sooner, after the long journey north. They are convinced that we have visited almost every conceivable village and town of note in the west, and I suppose it would seem that way, for a child. But I have enjoyed it. It has been years since I have travelled so far, it is almost like an adventure.