I'm sure some of you remember me. I am forgettable, but surely some of you are gifted with the best of memories! Alma has pulled me out of my stepfather's cold dungeon of political work, and placed my feet firmly on the solid ground of social interaction over a papery medium.

Please be gentle with me, I'm only newly thrust into the light.

[Filter: Private]

Such a strange place. A tower as high as the eye can see, aurae in the walls, and now the tunnels underground ... Who knows what this could hold? The underground is clearly not meant for a passing visitor. It's selective, but is it towards a single person, or a group? How deep could it be, and how far will we have to go? People call this place the White Knife for how it slices the sky above ...

What if the knife plunges just as deep below?

To merely say that I've been looking forward to our next stop would be a terrible understatement, but we've been riding so hard this past week to get there, well, I fear I'm simply too exhausted to drum up the energy to truly get all of my enthusiasm across on here. The men are feeling it too, that's plain; everyone's been terribly fidgety as the forest around us has become more and more familiar. Of course, they're looking forward to stopping in to see their families.

Still, even knowing that everyone has gone on ahead of Dillon and I, it will be good to see home again. And I'll get to see at least one of my newest nephews, isn't that right? But don't worry, now, we don't intend to delay ourselves to an irresponsible degree. And as I've said, we have been putting effort in to make up the time we'll spend there in advance.

[Filter: Private]

Man, I'm really beginning to think that there's going to be little I can do to avoid all of my fathers letters before I really have to start sending him more detailed information about what I've been "finding out" while I've been in Rayla ... this can only go on for so long.

Sooner or later he's just going to send men to escort me back home. It would be typical of him, that's for damn sure.

Maybe I'll actually take the time to write him back. Something he's likely to already know, not too detailed, maybe a little bit of useful information for him, just to distract him ... damn. This is going to take a bit of work.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

The shock is starting to subside, now. Little by little, people are beginning to venture back out in public, to speak and gather and shake off the ashes. Whispers are spreading like wildfire, very quiet, of course, anything obvious would be unseemly so soon after such a tragedy ... but it's happening.

I won't be a part of it, this time. Or rather, I will be very much a part of it, just not from that particular side. Nothing has been said, yet, of course not. We're too close to this situation, far too close for that, yet. But it doesn't need to be said. It's a given conclusion.

I didn't want it to be like this. We haven't even had time to step back and evaluate everything this will change, and it does change everything. It's frankly frightening, unsettling, and that's on top of worrying over Edalene, and Aes, and Lady Rachel, and cousin Reeve, and even Reiz, hovering around the corners and wanting to be told that everything will be fine, everything will be put back together soon. House Karnach is no Cresyn, of course not, but we're far from ready to face the realities of this situation ...

We need our cousin back, and Atsiria needs its Queen. What's done is done, and it can't be taken back, but ... when I think of how it all came to this, it seems so impossible. That's what I keep coming back to. That, and the image of Edalene in her room, clutching her little book like a lifeline ...

[Filter: Private]

Ah ... I suppose our rest really only could have lasted so long before we were to go back to performing our duties ... it was so very nice while it lasted, though. Just being back home everyday, cooking with mother, reading my books outside under the shade of a tree ... baking for everyone, even ...

It seemed as if it had been ages since I baked ... and everyone says that nothing has changed, that it's still as good as ever, aha ... and Robin ... ah, Robin's just the same as he's ever been ...

There weren't any problems, as I had thought ... no specific reason for why he hasn't been writing ... at least so he says ... but I think something happened. He won't say so ... and he just continues to be the same, sweet, sensitive Robin ... but still ... ah ... I suppose I shouldn't think too much on it.

I ah ... I shouldn't take too much time writing in here. I need to head out to patrol, after all.

[Filter: Lila]

It seems like so long since we last patrolled the city, doesn't it ...?

Aha, where will you be stationed, today?

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I really have no one to blame but myself.

That doesn't make it any less irritating.

[Filter: Altair, in Atsirian]

You've been rather absorbed with your reading of late, haven't you? Hardly a surprise. I know firsthand how interesting these books can be.

Before you write again, however -- and you will, I know -- I feel that I should make one rule very clear. You will not embarrass me, here.

[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I just don't want to be here. I know how that sounds! I do. It's awful, I'm awful, I'm the worst, but everything about this entire situation is so fucking stupid, everyone is so miserable and there's not a damned fucking thing you can do, but it still feels like you're expected to do something, and what do I do?

I can't do anything. I can't do anything for mother or the girls, except sit there and listen and soak in all the misery with everyone! I can't go to Reeve, not that he'd even want to see me, and even if he did, Aes would never forgive me. But I can't go to Aes, either, because Reeve will think I'm siding with her. Or -- he would if he even cared about things like that, right now, obviously he doesn't. He has all of Atsiria on his plate, right now, he wouldn't notice. But I still feel like no matter what I'm doing, I'm taking a fucking side, and I don't want to do that. I don't even know what I believe!

Edalene has to forgive him. She has to give him his seat back. This isn't going to work without Reeve, who else could put all this back together? She has to reconsider. Maybe she can still reconsider this entire thing, is it too late for that? Everything's different, now, with Matthew ... what's the point of it all, now?

That's a horrible thing to say. Mother would probably ship me back to Meatha, lock me up and throw away the key if she heard half the thoughts I've had about this. I couldn't say that to anyone, but isn't it true? Everything is tearing itself apart and there isn't even a point to it anymore, somebody has to stop all this. Who else can do that, except Reeve? He's not always right, but for fuck's sake, he's always -- efficient. That's what we need, right now, isn't it? Someone to put everything back together. Can't we just wait to blame each other and point fingers until after that happens, is that too much to ask, really??

[Filter: Private]

It's curious, to be sure ... their training focuses on ... on something so peculiar to this area.

You'd think that getting accepted into their ranks after so long, I'd be able to gain their trust more easily, but no ... they're so guarded ... at least they realized I'm capable of more than they had initially assumed of me.

Still, I need to be careful ...

[Filter: Eve]

So I finally have some news for you. It might seem fairly minor, but, well ... I know it's something big.

The troops here, well, they're being specially trained to take out mages, believe it or not. They don't have mages around these parts. That's not where their specialties lie, and yet ... well, I found it odd.

[Filter: Keller]

You know what's been difficult for me, of all the things I've been through while I've been here? Forcing myself to lose during training sessions every once in a while. I'm not trying to brag or anything, but when it comes naturally, you really have to think about letting them hit you ... you know? Funny, isn't it?

[Filter: Kail]

I ... honestly am having trouble believing everything, even if we've seen it for ourselves ... what do you make of it all?

Frankly, I'm not sure I like Keagan's insistence that we need to ... antagonize that creature, whatever it is. A living statue ... but it's not truly alive, either. It only awakens when we come close, and its sole purpose seems to be blocking our path, but ... it's clearly aurae, and there is clearly powerful magic, at work, and ...

I don't like any of this, at all. Keagan is so determined to take all of this on himself, and -- and I understand why, I do, the more he bears of it all, the less he thinks Lady Celeste will have to ... but there's something frightening about it, the way he's so ... so ... ah, you know what I mean, I hope ...

[Filter: Private]

I wish that I could send him something, too! Oh, but I'm sure it's impossible, I couldn't send anything to Korin without someone taking note, and it wouldn't be all that difficult to figure out from there, would it? But ... but maybe I can just keep my eyes open while I'm doing my usual shopping, and if anything just -- jumps out, well, there's no sense in passing up an opportunity! Perhaps I'll think of a way to have it sent before it's too late. I may as well just keep all of my options open, that's all. It's just common sense!

I'll just bet that Jason hasn't even thought of that, yet, and here Jack is, already sending my gift just so that it'll arrive in time.

Why can't he just still be here? Josiah and Amelie would have come around by now, I'm sure of it. Everything would be so much less complicated if he hadn't had to leave ...

Hey everyone, I'm running a little late. Sorry, I know, bad form ~ We had a little thing at the Houses, I guess there was an accident at one of the buildi ... uh. Well, it's not really important, I'll tell you all about it later. It's nothing major, just, you know. Cuts and scrapes and a few grown men being big babies about having to have these things cleaned up before we bandage them. Heh.

Anyway, I'll be over in a bit, I swear. How are things going, over there? I'm sorry I missed helping with dinner, Inara, I know I said I would. I'll make it up to you next time.

[Filter: Private]

He's still running it all through that overactive imagination of his. I can see it in the way he looks at me, when he thinks that I'm not paying him any mind. He thinks there's something he can do, but there, he'd be very wrong.

I shouldn't be encouraging this, still. He's still so young. Young men are prone to stupid, rash decisions, ones they could regret their entire lives. I should find some way to ease out of this. It's been dangerous for months, now. One slip, one wrong word, and this conspiracy against poor Devine has all it needs to ruin him for life.

Of course, if Craig disowned him, he could come with us ... shame he's likely to find some way to have me executed over it, first.

And that's a silly thought, regardless. What would Devine do, in Kilia? Nonsense, really.

Utter nonsense.

[Filter: Private]

Hasten is trying. Is that not all I can expect? I can never ask for more. He tries not to see Elthea in every corner, every shadow. He wants to flee and upturn every stone in Dentoria to find her, when he won't. Not even the Lion can find a frail young woman of Elthea's colouring among hundreds of thousands of people.

He will say that I do not understand. He will want to say that I won't. I know that he is afraid that she will ruin us. Ruin him. Can he see how much I wish it not be true? I have to believe that the Lion is strong enough to stand against an accusation from a madwoman, as vicious as she may be. I have ... I have a wedding to prepare for. I cannot allow these thoughts about Elthea to distract me.

[Filter: Jordan]

Would you care to join me for a few glasses of wine? Maybe even a bottle or two~ It's been feeling terribly stuffy and boring in my room, of late. ♥

This was fun the last time, so I'm going to try it again. I've been having a dry spell lately, but I've recently come into possession of a live Messenger. Please, ask questions to the Messenger lying on my floor.

Pillars can ask him an infinite number of questions until he dies. You're not making him die any faster. Messengers not asking him questions at all won't keep him alive, because I am not stupid enough to keep this going forever. Every hour that passes counts as one question. If he lives for three hours, his last hours will be spent without the comfort of his comrades caring about his identity.

Just for giggles, I'm going to write the answers in his own blood. His name is Everett, and he's from Dentoria if anyone was curious.

I can't wait for everyone to be here! I've been cooking all day and it smells so good and I want to start eating now but if I do then there won't be enough for everyone so I can't but it's going to be awesome!! Demi!! You need to get here soon cuz I'm hungry!

[Filter: Anton]

We should try and make Clarissa and Ian sit together~! ♥ I don't think it'll be hard but we should try to make it happen cuz then they can sit next to each other and talk all night long and maybe they'll even want to sit by each other anyways!

[Filter: Private]

At least this time we'll be closer to home. ...I wish I could've been positioned with Allison, but obviously Lord Hasten has his reasons for that. I'll just have to pray for her safety out there. Then again...well, so far we're just patrolling, keeping an eye out for trouble. This Koriner business hasn't gotten too bad yet, right? I hope it stays that way, it's been weird enough as it is.

At least June's been positioned alongside me. She's always been pleasant to work with, takes everything seriously and all.