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15 June 2011 @ 12:32 pm
[Filter: Private]

I can't keep putting this off, I still need to talk to Symeon. ...should I have asked Edeyn to talk to him with me before she left? I didn't want to bother her because she was busy getting ready to leave, but...

Should I even try to do it myself? I'm too weak, too afraid of hurting his feelings, but Edeyn's right. I can't let him

I'm thinking the worst of him again. I can't do that, not after all he's done for me. I don't want to think of him as a bad person...

What should I do?
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
15 June 2011 @ 04:38 pm
[Filter: Josiah]

Well, I've had a thought about this.

I think you should let me speak to Jason first. I know Lyddie is your sister, but that's part of the whole problem. You have a certain reputation, Josiah -- justifiable, yes, but all the same -- and I think you're more likely to terrify the poor boy than much else.

So, let me have a talk with him. I'll find out what I can about his attitude toward Lyddie, and I'll do my best to get him to be honest. Hell, I'll bribe him for honesty if I have to, I have the money. Then I'll come back to you and we'll see where we can go from there, if this idea is in fact feasible at all.

How does that sound?
Mood: busybusy
15 June 2011 @ 04:40 pm
[Filter: Annie]

Ugh, you know, I ought to be a better sister. I really should! Lenore's been moping for so long and I keep thinking I should probably take her out and try to cheer her up, but she won't be honest with me about what has her down and I just know if I try to do anything with her she'll have something better to do with Col.

I probably sound like a bitch, don't I? I sound completely like a bitch. And you know what, I can't even be bothered to care. It's all true. She's being mopey and she spends all her time with Col and it's ridiculous.
Mood: crankycranky
Lady Therese of Temair
15 June 2011 @ 05:02 pm
[Filter: Private]

At least ... at the very least, it leaves me some time to think.

I imagine Jelena knows. What goes on in this house that she does not immediately know? The woman has no respect for anyone else's privacy. How could she, when it might upset her delecate balance, her schedules, her Routine. Dragons forbid any of us should break that. The world would never be the same.

At least she does not ask about it. At least she only gives me looks, Pitying. How absolutely predictable. I'm hardly surprised. I oughtn't even be angry, because perhaps I do deserve the pity, even if I don't wish for it.

And Thomas.

Oh, Thomas, love, where do I even begin.

What does he want me to tell him, exactly? It will all be all right, love. Everything will be fine, love. I understand, love. Please, love, don't feel so ashamed. Every time he wishes to talk I know it's going to be the same, fishing those silly meaningless reassurances out of me. How very like him. It is a wonder how any man in Dentoria holds any power, if all of them need the constant soothing that he does.

I oughtn't be angry. This is the greatest life I could wish for. I am wed to a man who treasures me above anything else. I want for nothing. I will be the Lady of Nallen once Lord Horace and Lady Jelena have passed.

What else could I ever wish for. I oughtn't be angry in the least.
Mood: indescribableindescribable
15 June 2011 @ 06:05 pm
[Filter: Private]

Another birthday come and gone and no one cares. Druce and everyone with him has probably forgotten about me. Ella hates me. I ain't ever gonna get to see Mark again. I don't even know if I care anymore. Just another awful day like any other.

At least travelin with a few merchants is better than sleepin in the park afraid someone's gonna jump me. It ain't much better, but it's somethin. We'll get to Floran and he'll have work for me and then I can start lookin for somethin better and it's gotta be better there. It has to.
Mood: lonelylonely
Rae of House Taerin
15 June 2011 @ 06:12 pm
Using a bow is so much harder than I ever thought it would be but Leigh's a great teacher! I even hit the target today for the first time! It wasn't a bullseye or anything even close to one but I hit it!!

My arms are really sore today though. Leigh says it'll get better when I'm more used to it but I never thought they would hurt so much. They didn't hurt at all yesterday when I was actually trying to shoot but today they do. Isn't that weird?
Mood: excitedexcited
15 June 2011 @ 06:35 pm
[Filter: Private]

It's not fair. It was the first day in weeks that father was well enough that he could actually talk, and he spent the whole time scolding me for being with him when I should be at the convent. He even told me Healer Phelan could take care of him as if he did not even remember anything that had happened. I could not even bring myself to tell him what happened again.

He's right though. I should be there. That was the worst part of the whole day. I should be working and making a name for myself, but I can't do that unless I know Father is going to be safe. Everything I'm doing is for him. I can't let him get hurt.
Mood: depresseddepressed
15 June 2011 @ 06:53 pm
[Filter: Sawyer]


I know what Jack wants, now, believe it or not.
Mood: confusedconfused
15 June 2011 @ 06:59 pm
[Filter: Colleen]

You know.

It seems like all those stories about the undead, and things, are coming kind of from around Forna. Doesn't it? It -- obviously it's not true. It can't be true. That'd be stupid, and it's impossible. But still, isn't that strange? Why would it all be coming from the East? What's out there that would be causing this, anyway?
Keane of House Sylea
15 June 2011 @ 07:13 pm
Dragons fuck, I'm glad it's finally almost summer.

I don't even fucking mind winter. But it's hard to get anything done when it's pitch fucking black outside. I figure I'm going to have to make a round to some of the holdings, give some touching fucking speeches, try to keep anybody else from running off to Dentoria with their tails between their legs like huge fucking babies. I doubt I'll be able to make a difference, but it's worth a fucking shot.

And since it's going to be light out most of the day, maybe they'll quit fucking crying about ghosts when they can see for themselves there aren't any. Figure if they can't see the fucking shadows in their closets all the time, maybe they'll get their heads on straight.
Mood: annoyedannoyed
15 June 2011 @ 07:25 pm
[Filter: Private, in Kilian]

Druid knight of the Kilian Empire.

I don't understand this. I don't even know where to start. Do I ask other Kilians about it? Are they going to think I'm insane? Or are they just going to resent how many secrets I've shared with outsiders? Will Lawrence and the others resent how much about them I tell to my countrymen when I'm looking for answers?

I have to look for the answer to this somewhere. The question is, where do I start that isn't going to be a misstep I'll regret?
15 June 2011 @ 07:56 pm
[Filter: Private]

You would think I could separate myself enough by now to not miss the better holidays that I'm missing. Especially given the fact that I have so much else to contend with lately that I shouldn't concern myself with things that are so far away. Even the illusion of celebration is beyond me now, I'm filling a different role.

Mood: enviousenvious
15 June 2011 @ 07:59 pm
It's been so long since I've gotten to practice with the lance every day. Kinda forgot what that was like...it's been nice, for a while I was afraid I might get rusty. But it doesn't seem like I have. And neither's my lance, for that matter, thing's still in pretty good shape after all this time!

Anyone up for a spar later on? I won't go easy on you, though, just a warnin'!
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
15 June 2011 @ 08:09 pm
[Filter: Private]

They're almost here...I've been so excited about seeing them again that I haven't really been thinking about how it's gonna be. After the big happy reunion wears off...Peter's gonna look different, I know everyone's gonna notice and Mom will probably say something. He's not gonna like it.

And Jeff's ashes...we'll bury them somewhere nice. Someplace he always liked...maybe under that tree he and Peter and Warren used to climb. Or by the woodpile?

He's really dead. After all this time it's still kinda hard to believe.
Mood: anxiousanxious
Father Forbes of Megam
15 June 2011 @ 08:16 pm
[Filter: Private]

What is this? Surely they're not serious? Every priest in Megam can find something to do on the Day of Everlasting Light, but the only roles anyone has for me are things easily filled by volunteers! This time last year I had my pick of anything I would want to do. Spots would open for me. To find a role that a recently initiated priest would have, I have to travel to the outskirts of the city. One priestess even told me she didn't want to see me ask to do anything for their temple again.

I should be writing publicly about something, but what could I even say about what's been going on? I've only seen these signs when there's blood in the water. I need to know why this is happening!

These things don't get better. People must be talking, but they must not be able to let me know yet. Am I being investigated? If that's what this is, it would make sense. I don't have anything to worry about, I keep all of my expenses clearly marked. I know there are some Journeymen who abuse their privileges, and that there need to be some checks... If that's what this is, it will blow over once they know that I haven't done anything wrong.

I just wish someone could tell me.
Mood: nervousnervous
15 June 2011 @ 09:12 pm
[Filter: Lauren]

Hm, you did well at the meeting. At least, I was impressed. I never thought I would see the day where you acted like a noblewoman, but if you make a habit of calling on Lord Valtes, I may begin to think that I've been fooled all along.
Mood: amusedamused
Dillon of Rowan
15 June 2011 @ 09:30 pm
[Filter: Glenn]

So, do tell me, how much do you think Lady Eriena is going to make a scene when we're on our way? I've a good deal of money riding on her being primly composed and icy as ever, you see, with the men, and I really don't want to lose it if you happen to have some inside information that could change my mind.

At any rate, I can't say I'll miss this charming little backwater much. It'll be nice to be away from the stink of fish for a little while, I'm sure you can agree on that.
Mood: boredbored
Lady Eliza of Temair
15 June 2011 @ 09:39 pm
I am glad that my guests enjoyed themselves so on the King's birthday celebrations. They were not as grand as those held in Eblar, I'm afraid, but I know my household and my guard have been preparing for it for months now, and were especially eager in light of your combined presence.

Ethan looks forward to the parades every year. I think he is fond of the music more so than the marching, though I'm sure he will appreciate that as well when he is older. One day, he may lead one himself. Now, that is a startling thought for a mother indeed.
15 June 2011 @ 09:54 pm
[Filter: Kim]



I know you're probably busy. On the road and all that. But I figured I should, you know, write and ask how you're doing. It's just that ... I miss you. Even if you don't think I do, I really do. Things here are crazy without you, like you wouldn't even believe. I know you probably don't want to hear about everything here, though, so, uh.


How are you, anyway ... ?
Mood: lonelylonely
Mi (Hermione)
15 June 2011 @ 10:11 pm
[Filter: Private]

I don't even know what I'm supposed to do.

I see the men out there, and they look at me like they're expecting something of me. I don't know what to tell them. I don't know how to give orders.

I guess I'm just going to have to learn, but I don't even know where to start. I'm not any kind of authority figure. I'm just ... me. I'm just a girl. I don't know what they want out of me. I don't even know what Jarvis wants out of me. I don't even know why he picked me for this job. He hates me.

I ...

I guess I better talk to Alice, soon. Now that it's official. And everyone is hearing the news.

Dragons, what am I even going to do.
Mood: stressedstressed
15 June 2011 @ 10:18 pm
[Filter: Private]

I'm just digging myself deeper aren't I? It is hardly a secret anymore. Everyone seems to know who I am now, or at least have a damn good guess. How long until someone slips up and my father, or my sister discover the truth? What happens if Nessa cannot keep up her illusions? I can tell that she is struggling, even if she will not admit it. The only thing I can do to help her is simply hide in my own room. Dagda has not been getting much further with the rest of the guards. Perhaps he never will.

Perhaps it is not so bad of an idea after all.

[Filter: Jack]

I have been thinking about your proposition.

[Filter: Nessa]

I know this is harder on you than you are letting on. If you need time to refresh yourself, all you have to do is ask.
Mood: worriedworried
15 June 2011 @ 10:19 pm

It's getting difficult to move around the city with any speed at all, these days! The anticipation in the air is having quite an effect on the traffic. Almost everyone is out and about making their preparations for parties, and the like. If it weren't for the fact that everyone is in a celebratory mood, I'm sure there would be no end to complaints. So far everyone seems to be taking it in stride. It does make it far more relaxing when you're not moving fast to strike up a conversation with someone in traffic.
15 June 2011 @ 10:23 pm
[Filter: Private, in Kilian]

She's actually considering it, isn't she? That faraway look she gets, sometimes.

Well. Goodness, this man of hers must certainly be something, hm?

What have I gotten myself into? I never thought I would have to make this decision, not truly. And I can hardly take the words back now, even if I did wish to. I wonder what poor Devine would say?
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Lysander of Mera
15 June 2011 @ 10:33 pm
[Filter: Private]


Sure I can't ignore you forever, but I can for a little while.

And I can try to fix what you did.


[Filter: The Lady of Coliya]

I hope my partner has not been too offputting. He's very desperate. I apologize for his manner.
Mood: pessimisticpessimistic
15 June 2011 @ 10:33 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Forget about business, hah, if only I could~ How to say I'm not much interested in the offer, not now, not with so much to do. No way at all. The last thing I need is Karia sulking, or worse, fussing over me like something's wrong and she could fix it if I'd only let her. Hah. And the old man, too, just as bad if not worse.

I'd be interested to see if anyone else finds some excuse, though ~ And even more interested to see what they'd do with the time. Pity a girl can't be in two places at once.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
Devine of Rhia
15 June 2011 @ 10:36 pm
[Filter: Hayden]

Any chance you're willing to tell me what exactly is going on yet? I really don't like being left in the dark when this all has to do with me to begin with. I just want to know if this thing is finally over and I can stop worrying about what's going on.
Mood: annoyedannoyed
Destin of Lysel
15 June 2011 @ 10:37 pm
[Filter: Maire]

So, Maire, my dear!

Would you like to make the happy announcement, or should I?
Mood: boredso uninterested.
15 June 2011 @ 10:47 pm
Well that makes it official. A year, maybe two, and I'm done. Retired. Hah. I'm not going to know what to do with myself. It's good though. I'm not cut out for this job anymore. I suppose I should tell the rest of the men, eventually. I don't know how they're going to take the news exactly. Maybe they won't even care. Harumph.
Mood: blahblah
15 June 2011 @ 10:51 pm
You know, I was thinking. It's been a while since all of us went out and had a good time together. Get a few drinks, forget about business for a while, and just have fun. Especially you, Old Man. I won't let you sneak your way out of this one if you try. Tonight we should close up shop and just get wasted and forget about everything for a night. It'll be great!
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
15 June 2011 @ 10:53 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I think, actually, that now we've reached a point where Mother is more nervous than I am. Three weeks ago and I never would have thought it possible, but I've spent so long worrying, now, I simply don't have the energy for it, anymore. Edalene is doing enough worrying for the both of us ... though for different reasons, haha. She's certainly not concerned that she will misstep, or mispeak, or blunder in any one of several thousand different ways it can be done ... but if I cannot do this by now, there is no hope for me, and I will simply have to trust that I am not a hopeless case. I can do all that is required of me flawlessly in my sleep, now, I suspect. It will have to be good enough.

I hope that Edalene is pleased by it all, at the end of the day. I meant precisely what I said; I could care less how we are wed, so long as I have her. But I imagine how she will look, radiant and beaming and happier than she has ever been, the center of the most lavish ceremony Razen has seen in generations, and I just hope ... I hope it is everything that she wishes it to be, and more. I hope it will be a day she remembers always, a day we can look back on together and know, even when we are old and done and our daughters have stolen Razen's eyes from us for good ... that once, we gave them a show and a story that all Atsiria will tell, long after we are gone.
15 June 2011 @ 10:55 pm
Dragons... I'm rusty. I was watching some of the guards in the practicing yard and one of them challenged me to some sparring. I told them it'd been a while since I did much with a sword... and I've never been that great... but they talked me into it. I did better than I thought I would but I still wasn't very good... maybe I should spend some time practicing more rather than just practicing with my tome all the time...
Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
15 June 2011 @ 10:56 pm
[Filter: Cameryn]

I'm ... I just wanted to say, Cameryn, I'm glad you suggested we come here.

I've been terrible to the children, the last few months, haven't I? I think they don't even want to bother me now. They're too worried I'll brush them away again, tell them to go see their nurses, Mommy is busy ... that's not fair to them at all, is it? I miss them coming to me, now. At the same time that it's ... hard to look them in the eyes and not see that little boy dead in my arms ...

I ... was thinking we ought to have a picnic. The children and I, and you. They'll love for you to come along, you know they will, and I think it'll be ... easier for me, if you're there with me. Do you think that would be all right? The weather's been so pleasant lately. We could make an entire day of it, if we pleased ...
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Westa of Atsir
15 June 2011 @ 11:03 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

And there it is, in the distance.

Razen was never home. But it would be a lie to say there is not a certain familiarity to it, and I will not deceive myself and say I am not looking forward to playing all the old games, once more. I'm sure they've grown comfortable. Joseph has had to play too quietly, and Razen has all but forgotten what it was to contend with the will of House Atsir.

It's long past time they were reminded.
Mood: determineddetermined
15 June 2011 @ 11:10 pm
[Filter: Aubrey]

Aubrey I hope you're reading right now, I know your dad's been keeping you busy but this is really important, okay? You'd better be reading, it's important and we need to talk right now.

Leon's run away from home, okay?? Leon's running away with a girl and it's a girl he likes. He loves her. He really -- he loves her, Aubrey, and he's running away with her and I'm never going to see him again. Ever. And -- and --

I just need you to come visit me, okay?? Soon. Tomorrow if you can. I'll pay your ferry fee and I'll talk to your father myself and I'll have Dad talk to your father if that's what it takes but everything's going wrong. Everything's going completely wrong and I'm never, ever going to see Leon again and I know you hate him but he's my brother. He's my only brother and besides you he's all I have.

I need you here, okay?? You don't even have to write back to me. Just -- just come see me, as soon as you read this, just come.
Mood: crushedcrushed
15 June 2011 @ 11:14 pm
[Filter: Amalea]

Aiden is such an asshole. I wrote him asking what he thought about your idea. He's keeps treating me like I'm some kind of idiot, telling me I don't have to do it and wanting to know why I am. I don't even know if I'm actually going to yet, but he still just treats me like...

How can I try and explain to him something I don't even know myself? I just want to see him again. Is that so much to ask?
Mood: lonelylonely
15 June 2011 @ 11:19 pm
There was a merchant today at the market selling pomegranates, perfect fresh ripe red ones! I'm sure he must have used magic to get them here, and some of the girls were quite convinced that the merchant himself was a mage, but that's just silly, why on earth would you choose to be a dreary old merchant if you were skilled with magic? Marigold bought three, which I thought was rather excessive, and then Lyle went ahead and said just what I was thinking out loud, and for a moment I thought I'd spoken without thinking and I was just dreadfully embarassed. I'm sure I'm not the only one that does silly things like that, am I?

Well, regardless, I bought one for myself, and do you know, there is simply no dignified way to eat a pomegranate. And the juice will stain anything it touches, I promise you that!!

I wonder if he'll still be there tomorrow ...? It's hardly so excessive if you were to, say, purchase three of them over three separate days ...
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Fartgus of Lireth
15 June 2011 @ 11:30 pm
So brother, having heard tell that you're coming home to Lireth at last to help your dear younger brother prepare for his wedding, I do have a question: When do you think you'll be arriving? Oh, I have faith it'll be long before my wedding itself, have little doubt in that. I know you that well, brother, you would never be a moment late for fulfilling your duty. It's only that I think all of us here have grown awfully accustomed to the lack of your presence, and why, we'll require a bit of time to brace ourselves for your return.

Speaking of family, Isanae, sister, I don't suppose your lord has made any plans for departure yet? With the ... circumstances surrounding poor Lady Benedette, I'm hardly surprised. Poor Lord Isaac must be absolutely out of his head with worry for the girl.
Mood: chipperchipper
15 June 2011 @ 11:32 pm
[filter: col]

i got tea like i said i would.

i'm sorry it's been so long. i took it but the priest said it would make me feel sick if i'm not used to drinking it and he was right but i'm feeling better now.
Mood: nervousnervous
15 June 2011 @ 11:39 pm
[Filter: Amelie]

You know, I think Agi's avoiding us now.

I suppose that's a better sign than if he had laughed all of it off and continued to associate with us, or just gone back to normal life, isn't it? He's been completely impossible to corner to talk to these past few days, and believe me, I have tried! He's always with somebody, or has somewhere else he needs to be, or comes up with some other excuse, when I'm just attempting friendly conversation!

I don't suppose you've had any better luck yourself?
Linnell of House Veirnan
15 June 2011 @ 11:49 pm
I had a thought!!

It's getting so warm outside, and it's light so much now, I was thinking we should have a picnic!! It could be all five of us, Papa, if you want to come, but if you're too busy, that's okay, too~ I know you have all those books for Lancel that you need to go through!

I just thought it's been too long since we really got to do anything together!! Especially since Stephanie was gone with Edeyn for so long. Now we need to do something fun!! I hope everybody's willing to do something. We can even put something together for Lancel to have while we're off having fun, so he doesn't feel left out.

Please say you'll do it~??
Mood: cheerfulcheerful