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30 March 2011 @ 02:06 am
31's not the milestone 30 is, but I think I'm enjoying being my age more this year than I did last year. See, for those of you who aren't keeping track, last year I swore off drinking on my birthday. Or after I was sober after my birthday. This year, I'm not going to do something that drastic. This year, I'm just glad I've still got everything I has last year. Good family, a good job, and hey, I'm fucking on top of the world here if you look at your maps.

Here's to not doing anything stupid on my birthday this year! Yeah, I'm saying this only after it took my two days to recover from nearly a barrel of alcohol. Don't worry, I shared.
Matthias of Diarnay
30 March 2011 @ 04:09 am
[Filter: Hazel]

You know, it occurs to me that I'm actually giving you a very nice gift, with all of this reading business. I read twenty whole pages of Gulliver's Travels today. I'm a fucking saint over here. Really.

I'm starting to think that I'm owed some repayment.
Mood: flirtyflirty
30 March 2011 @ 05:49 am
[Filter: Private]

Ergh. I want to ask her how it's going, but I'm not sure I want to know.

Damn messy business. I can wash my hands of it and pass it off to Casey all I want, but it sure doesn't go anywhere.

I want to believe that she's a good girl. Until this last leg of the trip, she's never given me much trouble! Always a bit passive aggressive, but we all have our things. It wasn't so hard to deal with.

Now, it's all slipping off, shoddy work, defensiveness, time away. Secrets.

And me wondering if I'm doing the damn right thing! She's entitled to her weird shit, isn't she? Anybody is! This city is her home. Plenty of decent reasons to want your space and your own business, when you're home. I might be being unfair, here. If she finds out I have Casey prying, she'd be well in her rights to stomp off.

I'm going to feel damn silly, when there's absolutely nothing to this, when she's just visiting old friends and looking for a little privacy.

Paranoid, old man. You always were paranoid.

... but there's been events, haven't there. Things that don't add up. Have been for a long while, now. Too many bodies around this operation. And --

Hah. Now what am I thinking?

I need a drink.
Mood: anxiousanxious
30 March 2011 @ 05:50 am
[Filter: Jonathan, in Kilian]

Do --

Do you ... consider us friends, Jonathan?
Mood: embarrassedshy
30 March 2011 @ 12:54 pm
[Filter: Private]

Of all the times for him to develop a sense of compassion, this had to be it. The way he looks at her with those pitying eyes, it's obvious what he's thinking. Dragons, is he really that thick? She's dangerous, he knows what she's done and why we had to bind her up so tightly, and he still finds it cruel?

[Filter: Allison]

Have you noticed the way Jeremy is looking at the prisoner lately? I think we may have to keep a sharper eye on him as well as on her.
Mood: suspicious
30 March 2011 @ 02:08 pm
[Filter: Private]

...I truly hope they'll be okay. I still feel like it was all my fault, if I hadn't jumped to the wrong conclusion or said anything to them...well, they wouldn't still be here, Lord Grigory was quite adamant about wanting them gone. But still...

[Filter: Edeyn]

Ah...so we're done here then, I suppose? Do we have enough information that could help Lancel? I've still been searching as much as I can...
30 March 2011 @ 02:26 pm
[Filter: Private]

...Jeff won't be with them. We're all so excited for Dad and Peter coming home, but all they'll have of Jeff is his ashed.

He's gone, he's been dead over a year and I know he's been dead over a year, it's not a dream we're just gonna wake up from. But seeing Peter with his injuries and Dad with the ashes, it's just...

I shouldn't think about that, this is supposed to be a happy time, Dad and Peter are finally gonna be home. They're still alive, they're still...mostly well. We should be happy about that.
Mood: blahblah
Laurel of Nallen
30 March 2011 @ 03:50 pm
I took Misty for a ride this morning! She was so happy, just like I expected, as soon as we left the stables she acted like she hadn't seen the outdoors in years!

In fact, we had such a good time I almost didn't want to go back. If I hadn't had any lessons today I'd probably still be out in the fields right now. Luckily, she understood why we had to go back, hahaha.
Mood: happyhappy
30 March 2011 @ 06:58 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Been awhile since it's been like this, ain't it?

I'm not about to complain. We'll just follow this and ... see where it leads~ Like usual. Like always.
Mood: curiouscurious
Lauren of House Taerin
30 March 2011 @ 07:04 pm
[Filter: Celeste]

So! ... So, um, Gebann actually wrote to me. To apologize. And he got all carried away with it, Dragons, like he was really upset over it, and well, let's just say he's been hiding a lot more than just the fact that he likes men!
Mood: shockedshocked
30 March 2011 @ 07:08 pm

All right! I'm willing to admit it. Watching those workers scurry around like their asses were on fire was hilarious, the food was great, and maybe, maybe if Matthew and Edalene being together leads to more situations like that, it isn't so bad. Maybe.

But I wish you two would be less disgusting together, still.
Mood: workingworking
30 March 2011 @ 07:22 pm
[Filter: Private]

... I'd almost forgotten about that. I still don't think she saw me. Probably a good thing, I mean. Who wants to look up and see some total stranger staring at them from across the market, right?

It's just ... uncanny. It's probably nothing, but -- yeah. Yeah.

Next time, I'll say something. For now, mushrooms. I'd better figure out where I stuffed those notes I took last time ... ugh, now I sort of wish Daisy wasn't judging. I could use her for a practice run. I guess I still could, but it doesn't feel right. And Inara won't like any of this. And Anton ... is a judge, too! Sigh. Guess I'm on my own.

At least it's a distraction.
Mood: surprisedstartled
Lorcan of Rhia
30 March 2011 @ 07:27 pm
[Filter: Private]

I think he's warming to the idea, thank the Dragons. I'd wondered if it wasn't a lost cause.

I need to get him to commit to a date, and then it will be all but settled. I'll even offer to help with the invitations. ... Or would that be too much? Hm. ... Yes, it probably would be.

It's still progress. If I can encourage enough people to attend, keep him busy entertaining ... I'm sure I could find enough time for at least a semi-respectable search around. He'll never have to know.

Unless I find something, of course.
Mood: workingworking
30 March 2011 @ 09:03 pm
[Filter: Private]

Something I keep thinking the more I read this diary of the old man's. What a bloody bastard. It's something I've always known, but it's different when it's there, on the pages.

Nothing about me. Or the others. Not like I expected more. Now I know for certain the old man didn't care for anything but himself and the fucking legacy he'd leave. It's what I expected. So why do I feel so fucking pissed.

It could've been different. Maybe that's it. Maybe it's because I know better. Heard of better. He could've been different. But he wasn't.
Mood: grumpygrumpy
30 March 2011 @ 09:25 pm
Summertime's coming.

Bea's excited. Ice breaking up in the harbour means more competeing against Varise for trade, apparently. She's trying to teach me how it all works. She says that she wants me to be "part of the process," but Dragons, like I can understand a word of it.

She worries too much. She's good at this, she's damn good at this, but she's always worrying about something. Maybe that's why she's good at it, I don't know. Father never seemed to worry. Jarek never seemed to worry. They were good at it.

I want to do more for her, but that would require understanding what's going on, wouldn't it?
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
Eriena//Brendan of Keirnan
30 March 2011 @ 09:28 pm

Glenn, Lord Dillon, I -- have either of you, has anyone seen Emily? I have been searching for her for upwards an hour, and to no avail. The staff have all been entirely useless, and I am growing quite frustrated. And ... concerned. She is already fifteen minutes late for her appointment with her tutor. At this early stage in their bonding, I want to be sure that a connection is made, and that she understands the crucial importance of her education and learning! And here she is, late for only her fifth lesson!

I have searched everywhere, I swear. Please, if I could have your help. I realize it is hardly your responsibility to hunt for my daughter, but it would be greatly and deeply appreciated.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
30 March 2011 @ 09:32 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

Lady Mother seemed ... well, she didn't seem upset! That's a good thing! I never really know what she thinks about James-Chauncy. I didn't know before he and I started ... um, seeing each other, and I certainly don't know now. But she was helpful and I don't think that she was upset.

My rea first mother would have approved of him, I think. I think she would have. Not how awkward and ... silly he can be, but he's good at letting me take the lead.

She just ... wouldn't have approved of me. I'm still not very good at taking it, am I?

... I wonder what Daddy would have thought of him.

[Filter: James-Chauncy, in Atsirian]

I found somewhere for the two of us to eat, James-Chauncy!
Mood: pensivepensive
30 March 2011 @ 09:35 pm
[Filter: Private]

[Filter: Eve]

I have some information for you. I'm not sure how much it'll actually help, but I figure that something is better than nothing. I hope that ought to be the case, at least.

There are odd numbers in the armies. There's a lot of troops we've come across which have been ready to pick off any mages we're towing around. And I'm sure you know that isn't exactly a sort of troops Nasen is used to having. In fact, there's only one mage I know of with us, and he happens to be the one I've been dragging around for some while! Now, I would just dismiss it as caution, but it seems like an odd coincidence. Hanmor and Nasen have been circling each other like dogs over a piece of meat forever, but neither of them is especially versed in mages working among their armies.

I'm not sure what this means, but it's enough to have unsettled me.
Mood: crankycranky
Lady Tyrande of House Sarris
30 March 2011 @ 09:52 pm

Aha, little by little, I draw out more about my sister's suitor. A difficult task indeed, with how Lillithe guards her secrets. His name is Ishen, and it seems he is a scholar. An archivist. She tells me he is from a good family, as if that is my sole concern, and that does make me glad. But it would please me more if she were happy. She seems to be. I suppose I will meet the man in time, when she decides he is suitable after all.
30 March 2011 @ 10:06 pm
[Filter: Private]

The children are so excited. It has been years since they last travelled so far, and this will be the first time Cayden has ventured out of Allba. They want to see their new cousins. They want to be spoiled by their grandmother. They will want to show their aunts and uncle how they have grown up.

Children are impatient. They see the servants packing and they think it means we will leave now When I tell them we are not leaving yet, they know it is because of their father. They are only partly right.

Cerise has seemed much happier, in the past week. She says that she has some news to announce. I wonder what it could be.
30 March 2011 @ 10:07 pm
[Filter: Private]

He's being rather foolish. Sweet, but foolish. Every time we meet, I wonder ...

If there is a conspiracy against poor Lord Devine, he'll be watched. I've done what I can, when we go out ... but meeting me at the shop? Visits to my house? That all needs to end, I fear. We've been far too reckless, for far too long. If Craig is going to take this seriously, then it's past time that I did, as well. I'm not about to offer my head up to that vile old man on a silver platter, easy as you please. Devine may not care how all this would ruin him, but I'll be damned if I'm going to lose everything I've worked so hard for.

But I'm not about to give him up, either. Oh, no. This is far too much fun for that. Just because I never intend for Craig to find out hardly means I won't amuse myself imagining his reaction, from time to time.
Mood: thoughtfulthoughtful
30 March 2011 @ 10:16 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I think ... a part of me really is getting used to this. I never thought I would, but at times, it's -- just as though I forget to be nervous. It's so easy to get caught up in. It's ...

It's not just about being King, no. When I think of it like that, I am nervous. So much so, it makes me vaguely ill, still, if I consider it too hard. But -- being Edalene's consort ... it's the same, yes, but thinking about it that way ...

Well, just look at her. She's the most fascinating Jewel Atsiria has ever boasted. Nothing about her is ... haha. King-Consort is such a weighted term, filled with expectations and ceremony, courtesies and proper procedures, everything Mother has been endlessly drilling me over, day in, day out. I'll never be especially good at that, I fear. Passable, but I'm no King. ... Edalene's consort, though. With her, I can just be myself. Why did it take me so long to realize that? When I hold onto that, it's not so difficult at all. Mother would swallow her own tongue if she heard some of what I've said in high company, at the Queen's side -- but Edalene just laughs until she cries, and I just want to sweep her up and kiss her until the world ends.

I'm going to be a good King. I'm good for her. I really am.

I've never felt so good about anything in my entire life.
Mood: happyhappy
30 March 2011 @ 10:21 pm
[Filter: Private]

It's so cold at night. It's been so long since I slept outside and at least then I had tents and more blankets. What happened to it bein spring? I really screwed up didn't I? No one's gonna hire me and I ain't got enough to do this much longer. I'm an idiot.

[Filter: Cassidy]

I might have

I know you're busy and you got lots on your mind and more important things you should be doin but I could really really use someone to talk to and I don't know who else to go to.
Mood: coldcold
30 March 2011 @ 10:23 pm
Always knowin how to surprise me, that boy of mine. Or maybe kids are just smarter than I think! Looks like he's picked up on Sandra feelin not her best. Been tellin her to sleep more, and tellin me to make some soup. I dunno where he picked that up from! Maybe one of the neighbours, heh. Still, it's real cute, seeing him thinkin and carin for his mom, when really, at his age, it's supposed to be the other way around!

Well, hopefully, Sandra'll be back on her feet soon, and he can be a regular old kid.
30 March 2011 @ 10:36 pm
[Filter: Private]

It's amazing, in a way, how just seeing his name can-


[Filter: Public]

I am pleased to say that I have been promoted to being able to prepare the most rudimentary of concoctions for the apothecary here. Mostly the remedies for headaches and other minor ills but still those are important things to have on hand for when they are needed. I still have a long way to go before I can handle anything with stronger effects but I feel confident that one day I will achieve that goal.
Caroline of Nallen
30 March 2011 @ 10:40 pm
[Filter: Thomas]

I decided to write to him again. Eamon, I mean.

You might be right about him but it's so hard to know anything for sure. And so I told him to come here, so I could see him again. I don't know why but I feel like things could get clearer, if I could just look into his eyes ...
Hayden of Rhia
30 March 2011 @ 10:45 pm
For any of those unable to attend, I would like to assure you all that Lucas and Torrence were suitably horrified by my brief appearance at their party the other night. And I hardly had to do anything but appear to accomplish it.

I am sure I was quite the same at their age, no matter how foolish the idea seems to me now.

Also, Father will be pleased to know that the girls have decided to give Gulliver's Travels a chance. They aren't too excited at the prospect, I fear, but I have high hopes that this will change.
30 March 2011 @ 10:54 pm
[Filter: Jack]

I'm done. I'm not going to push her anymore. I think she knows... she just doesn't want to say anything... and she obviously has other things on her mind. Maybe I'll try again later... but for now... yeah. I'm done.
Mood: blahblah
Rachelle of Rhia
30 March 2011 @ 11:12 pm

I'm so set for tomorrow! Everything is all in order and I've got everything arranged with the cooks and everybody! I can't believe tomorrow's already my birthday, that it's really happening!! It always seems like it takes forever to come around and then when it actually does, I'm not expecting it! That doesn't even make any sense, I know, but ~~

Last chance to refuse your invitations! Though I hope nobody would go and disappoint me like that~ You wouldn't want to make me sad on my birthday!
Mi (Hermione)
30 March 2011 @ 11:16 pm
[Filter: Jarvis]

So if you were in my shoes, how would you make a decision on this?
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Keane of House Sylea
30 March 2011 @ 11:26 pm
[Filter: Private]




I just keep thinking of the way we both realized we had to get rid of Jarek. How he knew. He knew. And we both knew that we had to do something, that we didn't have a choice, that it was his hide or ours. He would have killed us. He would have fucking murdered us. Probably would have come up with a nice fucking excuse, too, paraded our heads around on pikes for being traitors to the cause or some shit.

He would have killed Mal, if he was sitting where I am. If he was the bastard sitting a throne that didn't belong to him, and he had to save his own skin. Jarek wouldn't have even fucking blinked.

Why the fuck can't I even bring myself to think about it.

[Filter: Public]

You know, Damien, I'm tempted to tell you again that you can go fuck yourself, but I've figured out you actually have a point about something. I need a fucking heir. So, congratulations, I guess you managed to make a point for once in your sorry excuse for a life.
Mood: indescribableindescribable
Maire of Lysel
30 March 2011 @ 11:28 pm
[Filter: Emery]

So I finally found out about our proposal. It's not good news though. Actually, it's really no news at all.

Sister Freya said that it was an interesting thought. And that was it. I think she was impressed that I managed to put together something like this but they don't have any plans to actually do something about it. At all.

I'm sorry I got your hopes up about it. I never thought it would just be ignored.

[Filter: Destin]

Do you think you could come home early tonight? I really want to see you.
30 March 2011 @ 11:42 pm
[Filter: Annie]

Have I ever told you that Lenore is impossible? Lenore is impossible. Ugh, she won't listen to a word I'm saying and she had the nerve to tell me that I was just jealous. Jealous! Of ... of that! I don't want a guy anything like Col! Why would I ever want -- ugh!!! I can't even believe her.