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Kenneth of Glashen
29 March 2011 @ 06:51 pm
Well, it had to happen at some time or another, but my brother has decided it's time he found a wife. Mother and Father are genuinely surprised, they'd given up on pressuring him long ago...perhaps he needed the right incentive to make the choice for himself? The fact that both his younger twin sister and myself have gotten married seems to be just what he needed...I know if I were in his position, it would be what I needed.
Mood: amusedamused
29 March 2011 @ 07:34 pm
[Filter: Mianne]

I love you with all my soul and I absolutely, positively cannot wait to be married to you.

All right, carry on with your busy, busy life! It just occured to me that I hadn't said that in a day or so. I needed to fix it as quickly as possible.
Mood: sillysilly
29 March 2011 @ 07:53 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

The important thing -- the really important thing -- is that whatever happens, I can't be seen having any attachment to any of it.

That's the challenge. I can think of five ways, right now, to ruin Matthew, but they all require me coming forward and admitting to being connected to it. I'd have to be the one to ruin him.

That just won't work.

This isn't about Matthew. Poor Lord Matthew of distant House Cresyn, he's just an obstacle, not a target. Bring Matthew to his knees, well, all well and good. But it doesn't actually accomplish anything. What this is about is the throne. Edalene's hand. And Cleraine and the glory of House Atsir.

In all these centuries, an Ansharian Queen has never married a son of Cleraine. It would taint the blood, after all. Give us Atsirian -- true Atsirian -- upstarts a reason to think we could do more for ourselves than stand in the background scheming, to put ideas into a Princess-Heir's head, raise a little Jewel loyal to her father's family. That's what this is about. What would it matter if Matthew fell? She ... cares for him, now, unbelievable as that is. If I were seen as the person who engineered his downfall, no matter how much he would appear to have deserved it, that would immediately set me apart from the throne, permanently.

What he "does" to fall from favour needs to be horrible ... and I need to be completely ignorant of it. Which means I need a game, and I need pawns to play it with.

That's where I start from. I go from there.
Mood: busybusy
29 March 2011 @ 07:58 pm
[Filter: Aiden, in Kilian]

Are you afraid? At all? You've been so...well, you've been our rock throughout this whole journey, practically.
Mood: curiouscurious
29 March 2011 @ 08:25 pm
[Filter: Private]

I cannot believe how long it has been since I got out of the business, and yet I still don't feel safe. I hated doing it. I hate myself for every life I had to take to make a living. It was just a job. Most of them were bad people. They deserved it. If I didn't do it, someone else would have and I wouldn't have been able to support my family.

.. and even with all of that, somehow I find myself missing it. There was something about it that just always made me feel alive, and now that it's gone it's like an itch that I can't scratch. A voice in the back of my mind reminding me of who I really am, of what I really am. Have I just been pretending to be someone I'm not since I left home? How is it that I can miss the feeling of someone's life being extinguished between my hands and feeling them take their last breaths?

Mom would be so proud.
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
29 March 2011 @ 08:28 pm
[filter: eri]

eri!!! are you going to practice for your big cooking contest before you actually do it!!! you should let col and me try out your cooking and we can be test judges before it happens and then you can do better and you'll win!
Mood: bouncybouncy
29 March 2011 @ 08:31 pm
[Filter: Daisy]

Er, I ...

You know ... I miss you at the house. Even after, er, everything that happened, some days I still get up and expect to find you barefoot in the kitchen.

I don't mean anything by this, exactly, I just wish I just ... I know why you left, I know why you'd wanted to leave for a while. There are a lot of reasons and they're all good ones. But I just ... I got used to having you here. It seems a bit empty, somedays.

Er -- that's all.
Mood: lonelylonely
29 March 2011 @ 08:34 pm
[Filter: Private]

Why isn't he writing? What is going on over there? I can't stop thinking about him and all the stupid retarded good for nothing things he's doing and I can't sleep and why can't he just write to let me know he's okay? He's just going to let me worry until he decides to write again in another year. I hate him I hate him I hate him.

...okay let's think of something else. Anything else. I need to stop this.

[Filter: Public]

I wonder if that traveling magician group has left town. I've noticed a small increase in business the past few days. It's not much, but at least it's something.
Mood: worriedworried
29 March 2011 @ 09:00 pm
[Filter: Private, in Atsirian]

I have been so ... so distracted. My thoughts cannot seem to remain focused. They drift. Constantly. It makes it difficult to focus on my duties.

The Queen has need of me. The actions of the Prince have been odd, of late. She has instructed me to investigate. That is my duty. I walk a dangerous line even doing this. Her Majesty's orders or not, it is not the Queen who rules in Atsiria. Not yet. I could make myself a powerful enemy, should he know.

And I drift. I waver. I am unfocused. I am idle. Her face haunts me at all hours. When I am not with her, I want to be. When work intervenes, I resent it. I scarcely know who I am.

Would it ...

Would it be so bad? Can you not ...

[Filter: Megan Esh, in Atsirian]

I apologize, again, that I could not make our ... our meeting, yesterday. I had business to attend to.

I ... would like to reschedule.
Mood: listlesslistless
29 March 2011 @ 09:10 pm
[Filter: Private, in Kilian]

Dragons Light and Dark, what am I doing?

Almost every night, now, we have our fill of each other. I've never -- I've never done anything like this, before. There was no one, before Justin, and no one after. It's never been my way, to be distracted by ... anything worldy. Physical.

What would Liam say?

... what would Justin think?

But I don't want to stop. I have no wish to stop. I feel alive when his skin is on mine. I haven't ...

I haven't felt like that since I heard what happened to Justin. I've been halfway dead and stumbling through life, everything grey and dark and bitter. Feeling his body against mine, his beard on my face -- it sharpens the colours. It takes my nerves tingle. It thrills me. It's real.

That's not a good reason to do this. There couldn't be any good reason to do this. It's irresponsible, ill-considered, motivated by the most base of desires. But it's reason enough for me to not want to stop. I don't want to stop.

And --

[Filter: Norman, in Kilian]

-- wait.

Mood: guiltyguilty
Lissandra of Veirnan
29 March 2011 @ 09:32 pm
[Filter: Lian, Linnell, Father]

I have had the thought that now would be the most opportune time to discuss what we can do to celebrate Edeyn and Stephanie's return home, even though we don't know exactly when they will come back. We've missed them so, have we not? A party of some kind would be a perfect way to show them how happy we are to have them with us, safe and sound. Unless anyone has a better idea?
Mood: deviousdevious
29 March 2011 @ 09:38 pm
Clarissa's seemed ... odd, lately, hasn't she?

I had to close shop this morning and go out to get more oil. It was while you were out with Joshua, Inara. I didn't have long to stay at the market, but I saw Clarissa there, talking to a man selling dried herbs. An apothecary, maybe. I thought it would be polite to say hello, but when I approached her, she jumped and looked ... I don't know. Startled, for sure.

She was her normal self once we talked for a bit, mostly, but something just seemed off.

Does anyone know anything? I'm concerned about her.
Mood: curiouscurious
29 March 2011 @ 09:43 pm
[Filter: Private]

My, Cameryn and Hilary are awfully close to Fairen, aren't they? How quickly time passes~ It is almost as if they are eager to be here. I'm not sure what sense there is in that. The spectre of a dead baby will surely haunt my dear sister here as it will in the comfort of her home. I cannot imagine her being comforted in this place, crying on Stepmother's shoulder and being consoled by Leana and darling Eudora. Not to mention Father. She has not seen him since his illness. I do not think it wise for Hilary to see him, in her fragile state, but it is not my place to doubt, hn? Cameryn thinks this visit will do her good, so of course, he must be right~
29 March 2011 @ 09:46 pm
I'd just like to remind my family -- and friends, of course! -- that April 6th is approaching very, very quickly, and I'm expecting something impressive and appropriately appreciative for my birthday.

With all I do for you people, I think I deserve to be spoiled.
Mood: cheerfulcheerful
Nerida of Allba
29 March 2011 @ 10:38 pm
[Filter: Private]

Hm, it has been some time since I last heard about Martha and Callum. I wonder if any progress has been made? Surely he must realise that he could do very well for himself. Perhaps a party of some kind is in order~ The Moon Festival is a month away, or so I'm told. Hm, yes, that would be wonderful. I will be glad for the opportunity to socialise. Not that I mind pregnancy, but it does feel liberating to not feel so heavy~