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28 March 2011 @ 04:51 am
Well, everything is mostly done. I have everything packed away, except for a few gowns to do me on the trip.

Blimey, it's hard to bloody believe we're leaving Emeron in a few days. It feels as if I've been here for years. -- I have been here for years. Seeing anything other than this city is going to be strange.

[Filter: Private]

And it's not even like I'll be able to put down roots, in Lireth. We'll be there until the wedding, and then ... Eblar, I suppose. A courtier's wife. Bloody hell.

I admit it. I'm going to miss this city. Not all of it, but when a place gets familiar enough ...
Mood: weirdweird
28 March 2011 @ 04:55 am
[Filter: Private]

I shouldn't have written to him.

Ugh! I just need to -- I need to find some way to just get on with life. Everything is still going. Time hasn't stopped. Destin is still getting himself into trouble, after all, and everything else ... the world keeps moving whether I want it to or not.

I need to ...

What I did was -- I don't know. It doesn't matter. I did it. I can't change it. Why try? It's pointless. It's a waste of energy. Destin's right in his own stupid, irresponsible, hell-may-care way. What's done is done. I can feel guilty all I want.

I need to figure out how to just pick up and move on for it.

Next time Maire asks me to go out, I say yes. Or -- or whatever anybody asks of me. Whatever it is. I say yes. Enough of this. If nothing else, I need to start distracting myself.

It's been way too long and time hasn't stopped.
Mood: determineddetermined
28 March 2011 @ 04:57 am
[Filter: Rory]

That was the last of it. My last cup. And I don't even know if it'll do any good. It was so watered down. It didn't even taste like anything. My stomach didn't even twinge from it.

... what are we going to do, Rory? How did this all fall apart?
Mood: indescribableindescribable
28 March 2011 @ 04:58 am
I quit my job today.
Mood: blankblank
Rhoswen of House Karnach
28 March 2011 @ 05:03 am

Sands aflame, I don't know how I'm going to get through today!

Keslene had a nightmare last night, the poor dear thing. Mama had to calm her down, and that took a full hour! And even then, she didn't want to sleep in her own bed, so I brought her in with Erael and I, and she curled up so tight and drooled all over Mama's nightgown and made it impossible to get back to bed. So I'm running on, oh, I don't know~? Two hours of sleep? Probably less!

I'm starting to see stars everytime I stand up, I swear!

How irresponsible would you think this humble and wonderful servant of your family throne, cousins, if I just cancelled all this afternoon's not-so-very-important appointments and took a well-earned and oh-so-desired nap? If I don't, I think I'm likely to fall over and cause an earthquake!
Mood: exhaustedexhausted
28 March 2011 @ 05:08 am
Ah, yes, Colndor is heating up and getting nice and ripe. Right in time for the summer. And yes, I'm quite aware that it's only spring according to the calendar, but summer always comes early in Colndor, where it's least welcome.

In any case ... there was some interest, when I've written about Camilla's problems, before, and I thought I'd write about what's been happening in that matter.

She's back on her feet, mostly, and taking clients again. Loren is satisfied for the time being. But ... I'm worried for her, still. She's different.

There comes a point, sometimes, when something that's bent under pressure for years can break, anyway. She's been battered, before, but I've never truly seen her bruised. I'm starting to wonder if she'll never make a full recovery. And if she is broken, it's only a matter of time before the splinters fly everywhere, and it's too late.

I've ... been looking at the money I've saved. Camilla's bond price can't be so very high. She's a medium-level earner. I think ... I might start making inquiries.
Mood: worriedworried
28 March 2011 @ 05:13 am
[Filter: Sawyer]

Alright, I'm just going to say this all in one breath, and then you can do what you want with it. And I'm sorry if I'm just ... prying and butting in and have read this all wrong.

I got sick of all the nonsense Elden's been giving you, and so I asked him if he'd back off of it, and he said that you never told him that you had any problem with it, and that he would stop if you did, and that I should mind my own business. Not in those exact words -- ugh, you know how he is, and all -- but that was the gist?

And so I just thought I'd let you know that. I think he really will lay it off if you tell him to. He's so weird, everything is so arbitrary and stupid with him, and --

And that's it. That's all I wanted to say. Okay.

I ... really am sorry if it actually is none of my business. But you've seemed more ... tense than usual, this month, and Elden has been doing his thing, and I thought if I could get just one monkey off your back ...

Mood: embarrassedembarrassed
28 March 2011 @ 05:16 am
[Filter: Alastair, Leana, Eudora, Hilary]

I just thought I'd let my dear family know, Hilary and I should be arriving today or tomorrow. You can make whatever preparations you see fit, but for myself, I'd rather spend a day resting from the trip than endure any sort of celebration.

I'd ... like to see Father as soon as possible. I'm not sure who's in charge of his care, at the moment, but if that could be arranged ...

... it'll be nice to be home.
Mood: blahblah
28 March 2011 @ 05:20 am
[Filter: Lorcan]

Well, you were right ...! And I was wrong.
Mood: happyhappy
Lady Cerise of House Allba
28 March 2011 @ 05:29 am
[Filter: Private]

This is real.

This is really happening.

"Wait a month!!" the healer said. "Just to be sure there aren't any complications! No need to excite everyone and then disappoint them!" And I did, I waited, and now he says ...

Now he says it's safe. It's almost definitely safe.

Dragons. Dragons. It doesn't feel real, it doesn't feel like after all of these years and all of this waiting and hoping and praying and dreaming, finally, finally this could be happening. But it is, it is real, it is, and now ...

I get to tell him.

[Filter: Rylan]


There's something I want to talk to you about.
Mood: indescribableindescribable
Winifred (Winni)
28 March 2011 @ 12:24 pm
Wowwww! Richard, one of the merchants, just said we'll be fully out of Korin by the end of May. Now that winter's over we can move a little faster, plus the horses have more energy. I can't believe how far we've come...it seems like just yesterday I was setting out and they were getting used to having me along for the ride! With any luck we'll be in Mansoure by the end of this year!!
Mood: ecstaticecstatic
28 March 2011 @ 12:49 pm
[Filter: Private]

I can't stop her if she's this determined, and I can't protect her. Maybe Miss Cassidy is right, maybe it's best to just...no, it can't be! It's not just about her father, it's where she plans to go to find him! Diane's tough, but is she tough enough for Colndor? What if she...ugh, I don't even want to think about it.

I can't stop her, but I can't let her do this. Dragons, what should I do...?
Mood: scaredscared
Felicia of Mansoure
28 March 2011 @ 01:29 pm
[Filter: Private]

Suddenly, I feel as though everything is going to be all right. That it doesn't matter if Mae favors Amaeyra, or that I've consistently failed to give Hasten a son. Well, it matters, yes, but...it doesn't hurt as much. Not for the moment...Hasten will be home soon, we'll try again and maybe the next time we'll have a son. Mother is coming to visit, seeing her again will almost be like coming home. Spring is coming, the flowers will soon be in bloom.

It's hard to be upset when so many exciting things are happening.
Mood: hopefulhopeful
Pillar of Light
28 March 2011 @ 02:53 pm
It's gone quiet again. Much too quiet for my tastes. Though I suppose I should be grateful not to see the less intelligent of you lot spouting your usual nonsense.
Devine of Rhia
28 March 2011 @ 09:49 pm
[Filter: Grandfather]

The looks on everyone's faces when we were in the dining hall playing chess was priceless. I still can't get that image out of my head and I've been laughing about it constantly. Do you think whoever's been doing this has heard about it yet? I haven't heard any gossip myself yet, but with everyone suddenly getting quiet when I walk in a busy room I'm guessing there's at least some.

[Filter: Amalea]

Are you free tonight? I have so much to talk to you about! I'll buy the drinks this time.
Mood: amusedamused
28 March 2011 @ 09:56 pm
[Filter: Eudora]

Ah! We have so little time left and so much work left to do for the big welcoming home party! I thought that we would have another week for sure! We still need to choose between those two musicians and decide on the food, and oh there's just not enough time!

What are we going to do?
Mood: nervousnervous
28 March 2011 @ 09:59 pm
[Filter: Mi]

So. Have you thought about what I have asked of you? I need to tell Lord Niall that I have chosen my successor and that arrangements are being made. If not, I am going to need to find someone else. It is not too late to back down, but I do need to know a decision sooner rather than later. Another group of new recruits should be coming within the next week or two.
Mood: uncomfortableuncomfortable
Elliot (Adrian)
28 March 2011 @ 10:02 pm
[Filter: Private, in Old High Megami]

There's nothing to be done for it. Whether it's because no one will take me seriously or because there is nothing to find in truth, I may never know, but ... it's pointless to continue this, isn't it?

I shouldn't feel so disappointed. As though I'm giving up on the eve of something important. There is a reason Melyndra asked this thing of me, but -- Dragons Light and Dark, I can't work miracles. I can't make a man be in two places at once.

[Filter: Melyndra, in Atsirian]

I regret to report ... there has been nothing. I know you have wondered at my progress.

Near a month, now ... I fear that I have all but exhausted this city's resources. In truth, they have never seemed to take the inquiry as seriously as I may have liked. Be that as it may -- it does not mean this man you seek was never here. It could simply mean he's gone elsewhere, since.
Mood: frustratedfrustrated
28 March 2011 @ 10:04 pm
Heeeeey, how much longer are we staying in Rechesa?? And what are we doing after? We've gotta buy some stuff to sell in Norey, right?? I've been around long enough to figure out how this merchant thing works now! Except I dunno what kinda stuff people in Norey'd like, but that's boss and Miss Casey's job! Maybe I should guess! That'll be a fun game!
Mood: bored!!!
28 March 2011 @ 10:06 pm
[Filter: Kim]

You know, you could at least take a room somewhere. There are cheap hostels in town. Just because we're the only place you know doesn't mean that because you -- left, you can't stay anywhere. I bet someone would even be willing to take you in, if you asked. And aren't you like, cold? It's barely even spring.

Come on. I bet I could at least talk Ella into giving you a room for a night. Just one night.
Mood: worriedworried
28 March 2011 @ 10:12 pm
... Oh!
Did anyone see who left --


Someone left a bouquet of pink lillies, right where

Oh never mind! Really, never mind me, never mind!! Forget I wrote anything at all!
Mood: surprisedsurprised
28 March 2011 @ 10:13 pm
Okay, I think I've packed everything for the trip ... I'm really looking forward to it, even the ferry ride ...! Raetha and I are going to be sharing the same bunk bed! It's going to be the first time I've travelled this far with one of my best friends ... I mean, it's kind of lonely on the ferry at first, even when you make some friends eventually ...

I hope everything will be okay at the convent while I'm gone. The new girls are all settled in now, I'm sure they don't need my help with anything anymore. And Angus will be fine too, he's got lots of people taking care of him. I guess I'm a little worried that something bad might happen, but that's silly, isn't it ...? Because I know everything will be okay.
Mood: excitedexcited
28 March 2011 @ 10:18 pm
So hey, last I heard, I was supposed to be helping with judging a thing, a cooking thing, but I don't think I ever got another date after the one this weekend fell through? Clarissa wasn't feeling well, or something?

Did we reschedule somewhere, and I just missed it, maybe? Eri? Demi~?
Mood: curiouscurious
28 March 2011 @ 10:19 pm
[A drawing of a simple earthen cup, by an obviously inexperienced artist. There is something off about the shading, and despite all efforts, the cup looks very flat]

Ugh. I knew I wouldn't be good at this. I should stick to shell collecting instead.
Mood: blahblah
28 March 2011 @ 10:23 pm
[Filter: Annie]

I can't recall what your plans were, or if you ever shared them with me, but -- I would appreciate it if you would start thinking about coming home, soon.

Our hired help has left to seek better prospects for herself, and Mark and I can't manage this ourselves, not for any extended length of time. I'll ask around town for a replacement, but ... you've read what's been happening around here, lately. I suspect I'll have trouble finding someone both willing and suitable.
Mood: worriedworried
28 March 2011 @ 10:37 pm
[Filter: Private]

I can't ... deal with all of this. Kail, Pearl, Elden ... Jace, honestly, how did this all get so...?

It's ridiculous, all of it. It's -- We're going to marching into Eina, soon, and the Moon Festival is in a month, and all I can think about is this ridiculous situation that I put myself in. That's the worst part. Everyone else is just -- being who they are. I'm the one that's ... I started all of this. Of course it was going to draw attention. Of course some of our company wouldn't just ... let it be. Of course ...

I suppose my only real question is why it all took so long to get here. I suppose I was lucky, in that.

Dragons, I don't know what to ...

She seems to honestly believe that Elden would ... stop, but -- haven't I asked? I could swear I have. And Jace ... I can't imagine why, after all this time, he'd choose now to start talking, but ... he can at least do me the courtesy of answering that. Why now.

[Filter: Elden]

I've been told that all I need to do to end your attentions directed at me is politely ask that you stop. So -- consider this a polite request that you stop, please. I'm not interested. Is that clear enough?

[Filter: Jace]

Do you have any idea why Faith wrote to me last week with the news that you'd been informing others in our company that -- of my -- condition. Because I'm honestly curious, what have you to gain? A laugh at my expense? Is that why?
Mood: blankso overwhelmed @_@
Tarmon of Emeron
28 March 2011 @ 11:33 pm
There should be no reason to hide anything from me. I am the future Lord of Emeron, and yet people refuse to discuss problems with me? I would have thought they would have learned by now that I am the one they ought to come to, after Father himself, so there is never a need to censor themselves for my sake.

Why is it that so many people in this manor act like such colossal children. It is not as though they can hide it forever.
Mood: crankycranky/curious