I'm happy to report that Ian and I are both feeling much, much better, today ...~ Ah, I do think it was just a passing thing. Though I think we gave it to one of our guards, so it's a good thing we decided not to go to the concert.

How was it? I really did want to go.

[Filter: Ian]

Ah, I ... think he had a good time, don't you?

I just ... don't know if it was good enough. Like it didn't last? He seemed to be enjoying himself, last night, but now he's back down in his sadness, almost as bad as before ...

I'm glad that we did something for him, but, ah, we can't just hold his hand all the time ...!! We have appearances to make and such, and he's ... well, just an actor, after all.

[Filter: Faith]

Well ... heh. Thanks for the effort, anyway. I guess everyone was either too busy with their own stuff, or just too awkward to want to butt in.

I did find what Fayre said about marriage interesting. That could be what it is. Is that how things are, in Northern Dentoria? It's not such a big deal, in Hanalan. Actually, we tend to be ... pretty liberal about that sort of thing. I'm more the exception ...

Does that make sense to you? I know most men would probably do it, anyway, but Sawyer is special. His honour means a lot to him, and he always tries to treat me with respect ...

[Filter: Adrian, in Atsirian]

There is something that I need from you, Adrian. It is a favour of ... particular delicacy. There is a certain type of contact I need to make within this city, and making it requires a level of anonymity that I'll never be able to achieve. Karlesta ... I wish Karlesta not to know about this.

[Filter: Private]

He thinks it, too.

Derek ... he was always the most observant person in this House. The others are always so focused on their work, or they prefer to be doing things, like Rylan! But Derek ... he always watches, and he always knows. I like that about him.

... he must think it, too.

I can't let myself hope. How many times, now? I've hoped and hoped, and always it's been in vain. Why should it be any different this time? I can't hope, I just can't.

[Filter: Derek]

A healer is apparently coming to examine me, tomorrow. ... apparently, you're the one who sent for her. Do you think I need to see a healer, Derek?

[Filter: Mianne]

Okay! I think I've got it all set up for Sunday, you just need to talk to Jenny and tell her to bring something with her to eat, because that somehow ended up happening along the way. I went with Gerit from my squad because he never makes dirty jokes and I figured that would be most wedding appropriate, talked to Annie, Eri, George, Gerit, and Jeffrey, and checked it all out with them, so yeah!

I know, I'm amazing.

I just don't understand what's wrong with Brian, sometimes!

His father has been doing orders for the guard, lately, and that's great news! They usually just do cabinet handles and horseshoes and pieces of wagons and things like that! You make a lot more money doing weapons and armoury. And so Brian's been helping his father with that, because ... ummm, well, because he's basically his father's apprentice, and so that's what he does, until he gets the shop for himself!

And see, one of the captains came back to the shop to say that one of the swords had the best balance he'd ever seen. And it was one of Brian's swords! And when the captain found out, he wanted to compliment Brian personally!

Isn't that great news?

Well, Brian apparently doesn't think so! He seems even more put out than usual!

He's been so ... weird for a year now! It seems like nothing is going to help him! I've given up on getting him to write here, anymore, he just thinks that it's all pointless no matter how many times I tell him otherwise.

He just won't cheer up! He doesn't want to be happy!

[Filter: Private, in Kilian]

It's so stupid to be jealous.

If anything ... I've gone out of my way for them not to care about me the way they do about her. How close everyone is here, it just makes me ... uncomfortable, most of the time. It's hard enough to have privacy when you're constantly asking for it.

But I have been making a bit of an effort, lately. I have ... and ... and it was my birthday, too, today. Even Druce and Nessa barely seemed to notice, next to her. Lady Celeste. Everyone's darling.

I'm just being ... silly. Ridiculous.

I am. I know I am.

How care I demand they all ignore me, and then be hurt when they do? Do I want to be a part of things, or don't I?