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28 March 2007 @ 12:08 am
[Filter: Private]

... Well, at least they didn't die. Right? Right?

I mean, despite everything, we did sort of. Sort of knew them. And. Even though it was a little ... it was something. Better than sitting here all. Stupid-like. It's not like we can even do anything like that now, gotta follow the leader. Right? Right? And now none of them want to go anywhere and this is just -- arrrgh

Fuck. Fuck. Is anything ever-- are we ever


This is so stupid. And there's no one here that I would be able to -- argh. Should I even -- arrgh.
Mood: moodymoody
28 March 2007 @ 12:21 am
[Filter: Private]

I think I'd prefer a boat at this point. Wish Chiel would go disappear so that everyone wouldn't have to put up with her antics.

I hate being useless.

...Heh. I wonder if that praying did help, after all. I wish I could offer something more constructive than that, at least. I can't really tell one squiggle from another.

[Filter: Jace]

... So. How long do you think this reprieve will last?
Mood: worriedworried
28 March 2007 @ 12:30 am
Progress made, to some degree. Still seem to be lacking materials in certain areas. A further study of this country's older languages is in order.


Events in journal still of little consequence.
Mood: apatheticapathetic
Emmeline of Nallen
28 March 2007 @ 12:54 am
everything has been quiet and regular lately...it's nice.

I like it this way...but I haven't been able to write for a bit...

I don't want to be detached.
28 March 2007 @ 12:58 am
It's been too long since I tried doin' this.
28 March 2007 @ 01:06 am
It seems I should be reading this more often. It is good to see some good news coming from Atsiria, even if it is only a delay. Perhaps I will be reading of even better news the next time I pick up this journal. You can be assured that you are all still in my prayers.

Cleaning the altar and replacing the flooring of my chapel is qoing smoothly, if not slower than I expected. It would be nice if I had more help but it seems the locals are not motivated to volunteer for the job. Perhaps I can find something that will benefit them more.
Mood: draineddrained
28 March 2007 @ 01:14 am
Hammer's sure are useful. Great for breaking up useless old things you don't need anymore. Glad I thought of it.
Mood: boredbored
28 March 2007 @ 02:07 am
[dreamy, delicate feminine handwriting]

[Filter: Private]
This feels...strange, with a staff in my hands, instead of a blade. With light magic instead of elemental.

I can use them. Somehow.

But it's not right. It's not right. It wasn't me who could ever use light magic, it was Marias, it was always him, and I miss him, I miss him as much as I ever loved him, but even missing him cannot make me absorb his magical knowledge when he's two years dead and far away.

And Miss Meg has no explanation for me. At least, one that she will not tell me. I know that she knows more then she is letting on...

Why won't she say anything...?

I am grateful that she is teaching me, though I cannot afford to pay her. Even if her methods are..unorthodox. I am indeed grateful.

I just wish...that she would tell me something. But all she says is simply,

"Explanations you are not ready for. Regret the answers, you may."

[Filter: Public]
...why can I do this.

This is not right. This is not right.

I do not remember learning this at all.

Keane of House Sylea
28 March 2007 @ 03:17 am
[Filter: Lirit]

So! I'm curious. Let's chat.
Mood: deviousdevious
Keran of Sarrca
28 March 2007 @ 03:18 am
[Filter: Lady Tyre]

A word, if I may?
Myca of Veirnan
28 March 2007 @ 04:29 am
[filter: Private]
i'm so tired. so very, very tired.

it hurts all the time now.

i don't remember what it was like before. before it hurt.

i don't want to hurt anyone by leaving.

not when i finally have the love i've wanted for years.


i'm so very tired.

is it selfish to say so.

is it selfish to say that i want to die.

there. i've said it.

now i won't need to say it again.

[public, korin]
once there was a maiden who slept
as she slept, she fought and loved and saw the world
and none could awaken her.
for in her dreams, she had a lover who truly knew her
though she did not see him.
she searched and searched but she could not find him.
she questioned everyone in her dream.
no one escaped her queries.
as time passed, she forgot him and did not know why she wept in her sleep.

the maiden awakened into daylight, silver tear tracks on her cheeks,
and as she rose from her bed, and blinked the last tears away,
she saw that her lover stood waiting.

...there. translated. i...think i'm out of practice...that took too long...
Myca of Veirnan
28 March 2007 @ 08:50 am
[Filter: Private]
just this question, then i can go to sleep.

[Filter: Clergy]
i have something of a question. it's been something that's been...bothering me for a while.

i've been sick for a very long time. my entire life, or most of it. and i'm going to die. soon.

i'm not afraid to die.

but do the dragons consider it selfish, consider it a sin, to want to die?
Symeon of Veirnan
28 March 2007 @ 09:04 am
[Private, Korin]
Everything is piling up these days. Whatever Rayla is up to at the moment, other then pursuing once-lady Irene. The continuing pegasus travel ban. How to balance that with the needs of the people. Etc. etc.

The most important question being the needs of the people. For while I may rule them, I am nothing without them.

Added to that the favorite topic of my advisors nowadays, it seems: finding me a suitable wife.

My advisors are pressuring me again to remarry. Take another wife. I won't. Not until Myca is gone. I can give him at least that much.

But everything else that is to be dealt with...if I did not have Edeyn to help me, I would be mad by now. Or madder then I already am.

Mother would know what to do. How to deftly handle things and make it appear as if she was doing nothing while doing everything. Sister would know what to do, and do it the same way.

But I'm neither of them.

It's true what they say. The women of House Veirnan are stronger then the men.

[Filter: Stephanie]
I have to talk to you, Stephanie. It's about Myca.

[Filter: Private]

Only a few months left.

It's written all over him, how little time he has left.

Dragons Light and Dark...how I wish...how I wish...

But nothing and no one can stop death. Nothing.

"There's always an ending, said she."

He may not be afraid...but I am.

I am.
28 March 2007 @ 10:53 am
[Filter: Private]

One problem down, but another one jumps up to take it's place.

How am I supposed to do this?

Who do I even pick?

And if it takes more than words...what then?
28 March 2007 @ 03:15 pm
[Filter: Private]

It's easy to say I won't get involved, if an incident does come to pass, and I could easily stay out of it, considering... though considering that I have come here with them... regardless, by association, even if I have been purposely maintaining my distance as of late...

Err. But there really isn't any reason for me to worry about that, haha... Luckily it doesn't seem like it will come to such a thing, considering the current situation of course, we're still not permitted to travel anywhere, and diplomatic immunity might as well mean -- well, nothing, I suppose.

The Prince knows that I'm with Norey... though he has not approached me directly either. Perhaps it is better if I maintain my distance anyway, haha... back to work!

[Filter: Fayre]

I really do have to wonder what you're up to, haha... I can't imagine it still has to do with surprising Jasmine, considering all that has been happening here lately. Though you have been rather... er. Scarce?

[Filter: Mydra]

The Queen is supposedly ill again, which is postponing the ... errr, excecution date, and as of yet no new time for it has been proposed, though I am sure the Prince would like to obtain one as soon as he possibly could, haha.

Even the gossips around here are starting to keep their mouths closed... unless it is spreading propaganda about everyone here, of course.
Mood: busybusy
Lord Kiefer of Rowan
28 March 2007 @ 03:23 pm
[Filter: Private]

The more you argue, the more inclined I am to prove you wrong.

Think of that, father.
Mood: annoyedannoyed
Dame Harriet
28 March 2007 @ 03:31 pm
[Filter: Private]

Why am I still

I do not miss

Really now. Scribbing here in my diary like a schoolgirl. At least I finished writing chapter twenty five. I simply have to edit the ones inbetween that and twenty. That isn't progress. These bloody recruits have made more progress than I've made on that dragonsdamned book.

Not like it will matter anyway, once I'm gone.

[Filter: Keller and Rhiannon]

Now that you two lovebirds have decided to play in the same bedroom, I daresay it is time that we all chatted again about the situation here, is it not?
Mood: blankblank
28 March 2007 @ 04:03 pm
[the page is damp and the writing is messy]

it's not fair

Mood: crushedcrushed
28 March 2007 @ 04:53 pm
[writing is small and childlike]

[filter: me]

it's storming. I wish it wouldn't. it gets so loud. and dark.

it's darker under the bed, but I don't know where else to hide... and I keep having that dream. the one about the fire and the... and the... but it's a dream and Mama says it will go away, has to go away.


[filter: ...minerva]

You're... you're doing that on purpose...!!
Mood: intimidatedintimidated
28 March 2007 @ 07:23 pm
Rayla Academy is really really fun! We're learning a lot and I even got a new school notebook! It looks just like my magic notebook, or well I guess I should start calling it a magic journal since that's what everyone else calls it and it's not really my school notebook anymore! One of the other students gave me the idea to cover my school notebook in a paper bag because that'll keep it nicer and it won't look like my magic journal anymore!
Mood: geekygeeky
28 March 2007 @ 08:42 pm
[Filter: Private]
Having trouble with your memory, are you, my little bird? Heh. I wonder how long it will be before that cage of lies that you have built up around yourself breaks, and you will be left with only what I have said. How long it will be.

But mmm. I think I will leave you alone for a while longer, poppet.

And it's now time for the chameleon to change its skin.

I hope you do not mind, dear, sweet, dead sister, if I use your name.

Because in writing, who is to know the difference, mm?

[Public, Kilian]
[very decidedly NOT Karyl's handwriting: it's instead vague and feminine]
Oh...this is...
28 March 2007 @ 09:36 pm
[Filter: Private]

...maybe she's sick.

In that case, I should visit her. Nothing speeds recovery like the presence of a dear friend, right?


I'm not kidding myself. I'm not. Even she wouldn't purposely avoid me this long.

Mood: worriedworried
Justine of Ysak
28 March 2007 @ 09:55 pm
[Filter: Private]

I don't even care.

Why would I care? I'm the one who said he couldn't come. And now I'm upset that he didn't?

This is absurd, even for me.

But he was the only-

[long pause]

[Filter: Dancing Boy]

Where are you?
Cylina of Coliya
28 March 2007 @ 10:00 pm
[Filter: Private]

I hate this little leech inside me. I'm so tired of feeling sick. And soon I'm going to start getting fat...I don't want to be fat.

Maybe when it's born it won't be too bad. Someone else can lug it around then.


If it's a boy I have to name it after Daddy. And if it's a girl...I don't really care.
Keran of Sarrca
28 March 2007 @ 10:56 pm
[Filter: Lynette]

It seems I may not be home for Rosie's birthday after all. Give her my love.
Mood: annoyedannoyed
28 March 2007 @ 10:58 pm
[Filter: Private, in Kilian]

And there's nothing.

And yet you still want t
Mood: crappycrappy